Chap. 34

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Depression was a demon all in itself.

Every day for the past week, I'd been forcing myself out of bed, placing a smile on my face to let the outside world know that I was making it through okay.

But inside, I was struggling to keep it together.

And today wasn't any exception.

"We're first," I muttered, as we stepped inside.

McKenna just gave me a look.

"Lee!" Travis called out, with a bright smile. "McKenna, welcome!"

Damn it all.

I took my usual seat, McKenna sitting on my left.

"Lee, it's been a few weeks," Travis commented.

Between a manic episode and then my relapse, group therapy hadn't been my top priority.

But I'd run out of excuses come today. And seeing as though we were leaving for North Carolina this Friday, Parker wasn't going to have any more excuses anyways.

"Yeah, well..." I started, and then I just shrugged.

"How're you doing?"

I've been better.

"Okay I guess."

I hate the attention being centered on me. Why was McKenna slipping under the radar?

"Well I'm glad you decided to come back," Travis said, with an easygoing smile. "It's not the same without you."

I'm sure life continues on. But that's not a subject I want to get into.

So I just nodded.

"And McKenna?" Travis asked, directing his question to her.

She'd been coming religiously these past few weeks. Her parents wouldn't hear of her missing a single week if she wanted to continue school here at Jefferson Lake.

"I'm doing well," she said, flashing him a smile.

Anyone could see through that smile.

She'd been walking on eggshells with me this past week, ever since the relapse.

And I knew that it must've been hard on her. It was unfair of me to call her, to put her in that type of situation after what she'd already been through.

"How about the night terrors?"

I glanced over at her, my eyebrows raised.

The what?

"Better, yeah," McKenna agreed, without making eye contact with me. "Practically gone."

She was lying through her teeth.

Another girl walked in. Betty might be her name, or Betsy. Something that started with a B.

"Good evening Lacey!" Travis called.

Or that.

McKenna began to play with her hands, glancing down at her lap.

"You've been having night terrors?" I questioned.

"Not really," she declined, quietly. "It wasn't even that big of a deal."

Fucking great.

Everybody in my life had been treating me like I was fragile, broken.

I guess I just expected more from my own girlfriend.

"I'm going to get a drink," I muttered, shoving my chair back and heading towards the adjoining room.

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