Monday, 11:05 PM
Thing 420: when i finish this pack of dog treats its over for all you
Thing 69: kou...are you eating dog treats rn
Professional Shit Starter: Worse. It is so much worse, Kuroo-san.
Professional Shit Starter: I don't think even I am qualified to deal with this.
Amatuer Shit Starter: we don't need to know that bokuto likes to shove dog treats into the various holes of his body
Thing 1: he is actually smoking them in my bathtub rn!! ♥️
Thing 1: someone come get him
Thing 1: please
Thing 1: i have no idea how he got in or where he got the dog treats
Thing 1: i don't even have a dog
Thing 69: akaashi...you know how u r my most favoritest setter that i did not grow up with or dating yeah?
Professional Shit Starter: No.
Thing 69: i will have kenma convince atsumu to have osamu supply you with three months supply of onigiri
Amatuer Shit Starter: the price will be high kuro
Thing 69: i am willing to pay
Professional Shit Starter: Make it six and you have a deal.
Thing 69: done
Thing 1: that's all swell and dandy but akaashi is in tokyo it will take him hours to get here
Thing 1: scratch that, the parasite has been removed with terrifying efficiency
Thing 69: never underestimate what akaashi will do for food
Whore Hard: 💔bokuto!! how could you?! 😭
Whore Hard: 👏we were supposed to open that pack together 🐀
Homewrecker: Hi, yeah, I'd like to unsubscribe from this insanity
Deadchi: I'd like to unsubscribe from life.
Try Hard: Then you are going to love my present, Sawamura
Deadchi: Okay, yeah, no. Ushijima is 100% trying to murder me.
Try Hard: Do or do not, there is no try
Thing 1: see when you quote famous sci-fi characters you make it really hard to dislike you
Try Hard: The exact opposite effect you have when you do the same
Thing 1: tendou can you come put him back in his cage, i think he needs to take a nap or to be fed or something
Thing 69: you are kinda really needy tonight, aren't you, tooru?
Bore Whore: Do not even think about subjecting the chat to another six consecutive hours of your borderline psychopathic flirting. Please for once in your lives have some human decency and respect for others and wait at least 10-12 business days so that we may all properly begin to heal from whatever the fuck happened this evening.
Thing 69: i marked it in my calendar when we can torment the chat once more, be ready
Himbo: just popping in to say i have now started therapy bc of this chat
Perfidious Lover: are you too trying to defeat therapy?
Himbo: i was not planning on it but now i am intrigued
Himbo: how does one defeat therapy?
Homewrecker: Simple
Homewrecker: Overload your therapist and traumatize them to the point they have no choice but to refer you to a different therapist for their own mental health. Ask to be referred to the therapist they see and repeat the traumatization until you get to the Final Therapy Boss, the therapist that all other therapists see. Best them in a duel to the death and become the new ruler of therapy
Thing 69: i would pay very good money to see what goes on in ur brain to get you to think like that
Homewrecker: As if you didn't have the same thought process
Thing 69: nah, my final step would've been to gaslight the Final Therapy Boss into believing this is all a simulation and watch from my newly claimed throne as they slowly descend into madness due to the clues and evidence i planted in their life to support my claim
Thing 69: i would then show up to their padded cell and hit them with the classic 'jk loser lol' and rejoice as the last semblance of fight and spirit they were holding onto shatters and they are forever lost to the insanity
Professional Shit Starter: Oh, okay.
Amatuer Shit Starer: i hate that bokuto and kuro are actually making me sympathize for oikawa
Deadchi: Nah but why do their plans kinda sound feesbile?
Amatuer Shit Starter: ...
Amatuer Shit Starter: it truly is the end times
Professional Shit Starter: Indeed.
Professional Shit Starter: First person to defeat therapy gets to decide the plot for the next global simulation?
Thing 420: hell yeah!
Thing 420: i'm about to speed run this shit
Himbo: good luck running after i take your kneecaps, bitch
Deadchi: Who let Bokuto out of his cell? We've talked about this.
YOU ARE READING
a totally unexpected development
FanfictionUshiwaka: That doesn't sound factually correct Thing 1: are you challenging me? Himbo: Well then, how many toes do YOU have? Thing 420: like, on my feet...? Thing 69: or in my mouth? Deadchi: blocked, see you in hell - In which a handful of volleyba...
