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I wish I had a button to skip this day.
I was in the auditorium thinking of what'll happen today, what about not returning to home after college.............. Arhggg no no no. Dumb.
I guess I have a great connection with the word 'problem'. No matter how much I ran from it. It always catches me up.
April 20
So, yeah my dad told me to talk to him after a long time. I always run from this, yes I don't want to talk to my so-called father in a serious way because the conversation never end up as a conversation. It ends up with me being broken and my father being relaxed. I'm writing this today cause I don't even know if I'll be fine after today. I don't even know what will he do to me,my future,my life,my happiness. I don't even know. Not a single scar was on my body expect the old ones, my body is clean.....the last time. So dear diary I love you so much wish me luck,strength,love. Bye.
I wrote it on my diary and now I was finally free from thinking about it. April's gonna end and we have one more month to spend because on May 19th my father will go to a long vacation after a long time and for a long time....maybe till July or August. On May 20 we also have to escape our house. It's literally fucking scary. After this morning when dad told me to talk to him tonight I don't think so I can be the part of the plan, of escaping,of freedom. Anyways. Everything happens for a reason, everything's gonna be fine.
"Oye kya kar rhi hai" Vani came up to me and leaned close. (Hey, what are you doing)
"Nothing" I said looking down continuously.
"Nothing?" She asked or maybe she caught it that I'm lying.
I slammed my face onto her shoulder and starts crying because I can't hold it.
She let me cry out of my life cause she knows me, she is my sister. After a few minutes, she hold my hand and I looked at her with my red swelled face and tears going out from my eyes continuously.
"Look, I know that you're worried about what dad said to you but don't cry nothing will happen, everything's gonna be fine na." She tried to comfort me, yeah it's true that she can't do anything, not only her nobody can't do anything when it's up to my dad but I appreciate her. I love her so much.
"Yeahhh l-lets g-go to the classroom" i said wiping my tears
"Yeah let's go and wash your face and yk what you kinda look like a monkey when you cry bahhaah" she mocked at me
"Hey no absolutely nottttt bitchhh" i cursed at her
"Bas bas chila matt, lal tamatar" she said sarcastically (Don't shout, red tomato)
We attend the lecture and i was literally zoning out all the time in the class.
It's almost 1pm and the College will end up after 30 minutes.
