Caged in Paradise (2nd Draft)

The 'La Rosa' Yacht Party, Part Two

I inhale deeply, sensing Tarek's presence as he slowly comes down the steps behind me. "He's just really drunk," he comments, straightening his shirt before sitting beside me. It strikes me that I haven't been alone with Tarek like this in ages...

"Shouldn't you be with Alani?" I ask, genuinely curious about what trouble she might be causing while drunk and out of my sight.

He chuckles, "She's with Sera, gossiping by the bar last I checked." I nod, thoughts swirling in my mind as we sit, listening to the ocean. Would Sera bring up what happened? Would she ask her anything? What would she even ask Alani? No, Alani is most likely the one asking questions... I wonder if Alani would tell me. Probably not, she keeps people's secrets I know that.

"What's on your mind?" His question triggers memories. It's not the first time he's asked, not the first time I've heard that thoughtful, gentle tone.

"I'm just... overwhelmed by everyone. Their opinions. I can't see through it all anymore. I don't even know what I want. It feels like my life is a mess."

He exhales deeply. "Well, that sounds like you."

I shift my gaze to him, finding him remarkably close. His hazel eyes catch me off guard; they're still beautiful after all this time. A smile forms as our eyes meet. "Thanks, Tarek. Nice to know I'm still the same disaster as I was years ago," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, no. You've definitely changed," he replies, eyebrows raised, his smile widening. I can't resist his warm energy and return the smile, then ask, "So, tell me what would you do in my situation?"

He inhales deeply, leaning away from me, his gaze fixed on the water as he contemplates. "When I feel lost like you do right now... I go to a place where no one can find me. I clear my head and start from there, asking myself the important questions." he says.

I scoff, impressed by his words. "That's easier said than done," I reply, frustration evident in my voice. Then he turns back to face me.

"It's only difficult if you make it so," he says after a pause, his gaze drifting over my profile as I avoid meeting his eyes. "You decide if the past matters. It doesn't. You decide if all those opinions and feelings of others matter. They don't. Not when it comes to you making a decision for yourself at least."

I listen, feeling surprisingly relaxed. There's no tension at all. I feel peaceful around him, knowing he's one of the few people with no ulterior motives. Someone who just wants to talk, honestly that's all I needed right now.

"Maya, you need to stop overthinking the past and what happened then. Instead, ask yourself: What do I feel now? What do I want now?"

"I don't know what I want," I sigh, angrily.

"And that's okay!" he snaps back unexpectedly. "You're allowed to be confused." His words strike a chord, reminding me of how I constantly punish myself for not having all the answers. Tears well up in my eyes. "Just take your time, Maya..." he says softly, taking my face in his hands and wiping away my tears, making my heart race for a moment. Then he offers a kind wink before rising from the staircase and returning to the main deck.

I just stay right there. Hoping finally, no one will find me back here.

I want peace. It's exhausting to constantly battle the barrage of other people's opinions invading my thoughts. I'm tired of fitting everyone else's expectations, of suppressing myself to the sidelines when I know deep down I deserve to be heard and seen. Life keeps shoving that truth in my face at least, but the weight of it all feels crushing.