The Humanoid ~Vash x OC AU~

Chapter 7: Apologies

Leilani

Vash.

He has been through so much. So much pain and despair. He has been hurt and betrayed, left out to the elements. And yet, despite everything – despite every wound and scar – he still smiles. He still smiles and acts kind. Because he is kind. Because he is soft. Because he is a good person.

He is not Millions Knives. He is not his brother. Even though they share blood, he is not him. And though I already logically knew that, it was as if I needed a reminder.

And then I remember how I have been acting. How cold and distant I have been. And I have said things. Things I know I shouldn't have. Things that I meant to use to hurt him, and I regret all of it. Every last bit.

He didn't deserve any of that. None of it.

With guilt weighing on my chest, I lean forward, resting myself against him. I can hear the way his heart beats. It is slow and steady, easing my own. How could I be as cruel as I was?

I shrink in his arms, whispering against him, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He perks up, pulling me back, forcing my eyes to meet his. His brows are knitted. "What are you talking about? Sorry for what?"

"Everything. For the way I treated you. For the way I blamed you. For the things...for the things I said to you. I'm so sorry. I...can never, ever apologize enough to make up for that, and –"

"Woah, wait, stop," he says quickly. His voice is warm and low, nothing but a sweet purr. He cuffs the side of my jaw gently. "Where is this coming from? Are you okay?"

I don't know why, but I can feel the tears start to prick the edges of my eyes. It is so irritating and infuriating with how easily I tear up now. Is this from being pregnant? Is this what it'll do to me? Make me some emotional mess? Already?

But despite that frustration, I push it all away and ignore his question, instead replying, "I was such a bitch. I blamed you, but it was never your fault. Neither of us meant for this to happen. It just did. But still, I blamed you, and I said some horrible things." The tears start to fall, rolling down my cheeks as a lump grips my throat. I rest my hands against his chest, feeling his solid frame. "Things that I...I didn't mean. I didn't mean any of them. What I said..." My eyes, watery and blurry from tears, meet his. "I still mean what I said on that rooftop, though. Back in Penton. I do mean that."

Softly, I smooth the wrinkles in his shirt. "I will never regret you, Vash. Never. What I said the other day... I lied. I lied and was trying to hurt you because I'm angry, but I didn't mean it. I...I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

More tears erupt from me, rolling like tiny streams down my cheeks as sobs break from my lips. My chest pulls and aches, heaving with regret and pain.

Vash is quiet, not saying a word, and I don't blame him. I don't deserve his forgiveness. I don't deserve his understanding or mercy. He has every right to hate me right now.

However, as I sob, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him. His body heat swaddles me, wrapping me in its warm embrace as he breathes gently against the crown of my head.

"Shh," he whispers. His voice is gruff and low. "Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay."

"No, it's not!" I burst. I look at him, painfully aware of the snot and tears falling down my face. "It's not okay! How can it be okay? I tried to hurt you! I did hurt you! How can you be so forgiving and accepting of that? You should yell or scream or throw something. Anything! Tell me you hate me. Tell me you –"

"I won't," he says softly, but sternly. He swipes a thumb along my cheek, wiping a tear away. He feels so warm. He always does.

My voice bubbles in my throat. "Why not?"