This is the exact book of the real dork diaries series book. For those who don't have the book in real life, this book is your go-to! Enjoy, and full credit to Rachel Renée Russell for writing this amazing book!
I'm having a HORRIBLE day today!! And it's all YOUR fault!!
Today at lunch I was completely torn between the tofu salad and the tofu burger since I am very particular about what I eat.
I finally decided on the teriyaki tofu salad with honey ginger dressing and a chilled bottle of Mountain's Peak spring water. WHY? Because the tofu burger had a huge fly buzzing around it. EWW!
Anyway, just as I was about to sit down at the CCP table, I saw all my friends laughing hysterically at a video of some stupid girl freaking out because she had a bug in her hair.
I was going to watch it and laugh too. Until I realized SHE was ME!!
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Suddenly my stomach started to feel very sick and QUEASY.
Not from the video, but from the flashback to that fly buzzing around the tofu burger I almost ate! YUCK!
I could NOT believe my friends would actually stab me in the back like this. Even my so-called BFF, Jessica. I have never been so utterly HUMILIATED in my ENTIRE LIFE!!
My reputation at this school is RUINED!!I'm so upset right now I could just . . .SCREEEEEEEEAM!!!
So, Nikki, would you like to know why I HATE you so much?!
NO, you DON'T want to know?!
Well, Miss Smarty-Pants, I'm going to tell you ANYWAY!! So just deal with it! Here's my list! The SHORT one!!
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10 REASONS WHY I HATE YOU!!
1. You CHEATED to WIN the avant-garde art competition!!
2. You totally RUINED my birthday party by SABOTAGING the chocolate fountain!!
3. You competed in the TALENT SHOW and landed a RECORD DEAL even though your application was INCOMPLETE (like, WHO names their band Actually, I'm Not Really Sure Yet?)!!
4. You WON the "Holiday on Ice" show, and EVERYBODY knows that you CAN'T ice-skate!
5. You TOILET-PAPERED my house!!!!
6. You tricked me into DIGGING through a DUMPSTER filled with GARBAGE in my designer dress at the Sweetheart Dance!
7. You actually KISSED my FBF (future boyfriend), BRANDON!!
8. You pretended to be seriously HURT during dodgeball so that I would get DETENTION(which, BTW, could totally RUIN my chances of getting into an Ivy League university)!
9. You put a nasty STINK BUG in my hair!!And the HORRIBLE THING that I just found out TODAY . . .
10. You've completely RUINED my reputation and HUMILIATED me, because now the ENTIRE school is passing around that AWFUL video of me having a meltdown about the bug that YOU put in my hair.
I am so NOT making this stuff up!!
It's quite obvious you're trying to completely DESTROY my life!!Things are SO bad at this school that ONE of us has to GO! It's either YOU . . .
Or . . . ME!!
And if Principal Winston won't KICK you out of this school for RUINING MY LIFE . . .
'M TRANSFERRING TO ANOTHER SCHOOL!!
And I mean it!! I've had it up to HERE with you, Nikki Maxwell. You are NOT going to getaway with this.
Just admit it!
If YOU were ME, you'd HATE yourself TOO!
TOODLES!!
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