This is the exact book of the real dork diaries series book. For those who don't have the book in real life, this book is your go-to! Enjoy, and full credit to Rachel Renée Russell for writing this amazing book!
OMG! I got a little dizzy and my palms actually started to sweat.
EWW!!My fashion stylist (who, BTW, is now on tour with Ariana Grande) says one should NEVERsweat! One should just . . . GLOW!
Anyway, it was vital that I rush out to the mall to find the PERFECT blouse to wear toschool on Monday.
It needed to be:
Cute, but not too immature.
Classy, but not too boring.
Bold, but not too tacky.Trendy, but not too faddish.
Finally, after shopping for what seemed like FOREVER, I found not one, not two, but THREEfabulous designer blouses!
And since I couldn't make up my mind which one I loved best, I decided to buy all THREE ofthem for only $689.32!
WHY?!
Because I COULD!!
Yay ME !!
Please don't HATE me because I'm rich!!
Then I rushed home and locked myself in my bedroom.I had to make the very difficult decision of which blouse would best complement MYdiary!!
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However, the last thing I needed was for some CRAZY girl at school to SEE me with HERDIARY and accuse me of STEALING it!
Of course, initially no one would believe her because of my reputation for being a very kindand honest individual.
But if she told Principal Winston, there was a chance I could get BUSTED with it in mypurse.
Which would mean an automatic suspension from WCD!!And what if I was forced to attend a PUBLIC school?!
Just like the ones I see ontelevision?!
EWW !!Was this diary worth ALL that?!
I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror and decided right then and there to dothe ONLY thing that made sense.
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YES! I know! I'm a BEAUTIFUL GENIUS !!
It took me TWO whole hours to cover the diary with the leopard-print fabric from mybrand-new designer blouse.
And when I finally finished, I was totally blown away by how FANTASTIC it looked.The entire experience was so exciting and inspiring that I actually started to GLOW!
That's when I rushed right back to the mall (thank goodness it hadn't closed yet!) andpurchased another designer blouse, black leather pants, boots, and sunglasses.
Because tomorrow I plan to show off your MY new diary to EVERYONE at school!
YAY ME!! !Anyway, even though your diary only covered nine days in April, one thing is abundantlyclear, Nikki. . . .
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Seriously, I can't believe I wasted hours of my life reading all this whiny, fabricatedgarbage.
Everything you wrote was like, "Mackenzie did THIS to me!" and "Mackenzie did THAT to me!" asif I'M the dysfunctional one!
Are you for real?! #Girlbye!
You are DELUSIONAL if you think you're the victim here!Just face the truth!
You've been INSANELY JEALOUS of me from day one and are OBSESSED with trying to RUIN mylife!
Brandon and I would be an item by now if you hadn't made him feel SORRY for you with allyour "CUTE-N-DORKY" little antics.
You are BEYOND evil, Nikki Maxwell!
And you LIE so much, you should seriously consider a career in politics!I think YOU need my therapist, Dr. Hadley, WAY more than I do!
I realize all the stuff I'm saying to you may sound cold, cruel, and mean.
But I'm justbeing totally HONEST with you, Nikki.Sorry I'm NOT sorry!!
TOODLES!
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