CoD: The new adventure

Chapter 4: The Lost Home

(TW for fire, graphically explained content, described gore, possibly drawn gore [if it's updated after 20.04.24] and pretty much other fucked up, gore shit, read at your own risk <3 )

König, being his usual chaos, showered Bernhard in kisses through his mask. "Fuckin' hell, you're worse at giving proper love like that stripper sister of Price-" Ghost growled "Don't talk about her like that! At least she drinks tea like a normal person, not like a sociopath!" Soap shouted, to which Price snapped his head to them... which cracked, forcing Price's neck to sound broken. "Captain! You look like an ouhl.. auhl.." König exclaimed but grew unsure. "Houl? Oowuhl? ouwoohl? Howoul? Hoot hoot- you look like a hooter!" König yelled, everyone's short confusion turned into pure amusement and laughter, even the raccoon tried to be a part of them by squeaking. This squeaky animal made everyone laugh harder and even had Gaz drop to the ground. "Did he has geschossen wurde (got shot)?!" "Bro, what?" Gaz asked, looking at König as if he had just stabbed his whole family in front of him. "Gaz, don't give him that look!" "Shut up, Dad!" "D- DAD?" Price sobbed, suddenly dropping on the floor again. Bernhard wiggled around, forcing König to set him down, and hurried to Price with worried squeals and squeaks. "Nein, Bernhard! Er ist in Ordnung, guck (He is alright, look)!" König kneeled to the raccoon, trying to console him. Roach giggled silently, being the mute guy he was (in this AU he's mute bc I said so). Soap tried to get Ghost to laugh too, yet all he did as grumble. "Johnny, don't even try, please.." "You can't be this moody bitch all the time, Ghost!" "At least I ain't Makarov!" Ghost yelled, causing a silence. "That Macaroni man? Black hair? Cool Augen (eyes)?" König wondered and seemed confused as everyone looked at him. "'Macaroni man'? Yeah, Makarov, 'Macaroni man' I guess.." Price chuckled, trying to stay calm. "Macaroni man is a funny way of calling him, do you ALWAYS call him 'Macaroni'?" Roach held his notebook out, his eyes glistering with curiosity. "Ohm.. sometimes, but his face scares me.." The austrian man admitted, trying to not seem embarrassed as he quickly retreived Bernd. Everyone somewhat chuckled at that, except for Ghost who was wondering something. "Does that mean you know him?" "Ah, mehr oder weniger (more or less)." König seemed confused, as if he didn't know the situation. "Speak english, you berk!" "Was (What)? I'm not a Berg!" "Yes you are, you're an idiot!" "A Berg isn't an idiot, it's a mountain!" König exclaimed, seeming more confused than all the others together. "Do you know what a berK is? Not a 'Berg'.." Soap whispered into König's ear... or at least tried to reach his head. "Bärk? No, what's a Bärk?" The animal whisperer looked at the scottish bean. "It's an idiot." Price explained and sat up straight, finally getting his ass off the floor. "Ohh, that makes more Sinn (sense).. But I know Makarov more or weniger (less)." The wannabe german booped the raccoon's nose. "Do you know where he currently is?" Gaz asked as he lit his cig, to which Price looked disappointed as fuck. "I know you love being a troublemaker, but please not in the forest.." "That's true, Gaz!" Soap exclaimed, turning towards him. "That's how people get fucked in every other porno!" He explained, but regretted it the moment he said the last word. "Interesting you look stuff like zat. My grand-vater (-father) was a scientist, he found zis Parasit and named it 'humongous irrumatus', apparanently it eats the animal, mostly bunnies, inside out, leaving ze breyn (brain [not german but König-ishly said]) for last!" The austrian tree explained with his accent. "I even found some photograps and drawings of it, I'll show you in ze base! Well, it seems that ze parasite likes the Herz (heart) and breyn, meaning it saves it for last, just like a dessert!" With that, König went on to describe what he remembered.. which was a lot... by that time Gaz dropped his cigarette on the ground and accidentally let it burn the grass. The squad found out once it was too late, Soap passing out in a panic. "SCHEIßE, ZE POOR TIERE!" "Gaz! This is why I didn't want you smoking here!" "[insert raccoon panicked squeak/squeal]" "Fokk.. you arse." Soap softly breathed and was held up by Ghost. Gaz started crying and tried to kick the fire out, unfortunately it only spread more..

[5 minutes later...]

Everyone had quickly packed the most important stuff, Gaz packing Price's stuff while he was busy calling the fire department, his disappointment evident in his voice. König was suddenly... gone?! "Fokk... KÖNIG!" Ghost yelled, not finding the new guy, his stuff, or his pet. "Guys, we lost König!" Ghost announced, while Roach seemed confused at the sight of his stuff, neatly packed. "I'm zurück (back [conext: having returned])! I had to help Bernhard's family and ze Reh!" König stated and held Bernhard, another raccoon, 5 baby raccoons, and a baby deer in his arm, every single animal seemed content in his embrace. "Oh no... König..." Price whispered, his heart sinking when he even thought about needing to break the news to this poor austrian, possibly breaking his heart. "I- We can't adopt every animal you find.." Soap chuckled, trying to gently lead König away from adopting every animal in his arms. "But.. look at how happy they are with me!" König gestured to the animals he held.

By the time everyone was ready to leave, the fire department made their was there. Price got his ID out and was quick to shame Gaz for the accident. To everyone's surprise, except for Price, some cops came to investigate. Gaz got arrested after a couple square meters of trees burned down.

"I was hopin' he'd be able to get off with.. 40 hours of community work? We military personell don't have too much time, and I can't afford to get him in jail.."

"I understand, we'll need to see what the judge says. Despite the situation, I can try to persuade him too, I don't think he'll be let go so easily though.."

"Understandable.. I suppose I'll get him a lawyer as soon as possible.. do be a favor though and don't tighten the cuffs too much.. last time he had a watch he whined about the marks it left, which left 4 hours later.." 

"Damn, he's that whiny?"

"Unfortunately, my 'son's whiny like that.." "I'll see what we can do, while you try to find someone to get him out. I can see he's not a bad man."

"And if you can, let him keep his cap. He cherishes it more than the pet parrot he had as a child.."

Eventually, Gaz was driven off as the others, even König's new pets, were led out of the forest with their stuff, meaning the trip was cut short. König was finally able to see Cookie again, and take her away from that hooker.