Beyond The Lost

20

I stayed quiet for a long time, more than halfway to Molgham. I could feel Victor's concern, but brushed it off before I could let it get to me. I'm losing hope by the minute.

"Eve?" He gently tapped my shoulder, making me stop in place. I didn't look at him. "Is something wrong?"

All I can think is, one of us is going to die one way or another. If I agree to that deal and give Victor away, I can win against Mary and fix what I've broken. If I agree and give myself away, there's a chance Victor will die trying to put Mary back anyway. And if I don't agree, we'll both die.

"I love you." I wanted to say it before it was too late, but perhaps this was too soon.

The words were said heavily but fast, I'm sure he barely caught it. He didn't respond, and neither did I. We both stood still for a good minute before I began to walk again.

I hear his feet slug behind me, but with each step I just want to stop. I want to give up so badly.

My skin tingles as I breathe deeply, my heart so heavy I can feel it in my stomach. I feel myself slipping into madness, slowly but surely. My heart is beginning to take over rational decision, I don't want anything more than to give up for his sake.

"I wanted to save you so bad." I mutter to myself, my stomach twisting into knots as his silence suffocates me. "And you can't even say it back?"

"Hm?" His head perked up once he heard me muttering. "Did you say something?"

I stopped abruptly, his chest hitting me in the back. "Has it not crossed your mind that this may be the last time we see each other alive?"

"It has. I'm trying not to think about it."

"Tough shit." I faced him, irritated. "Think about it, let it sit with you. This is it, Victor. We don't know if anything comes after, we don't know what to do when we get out of here. Face it, we're screwed."

"What's gotten into you?" His brows draw close, hurt clear in his eyes.

"I'm standing in front of you, telling you I love you and you're giving me nothing. Can you imagine how hurtful that is? We're going to die, Victor. The least you could do is care." Tears well in my eyes but I'm so tired of crying that all it does it make me angry. "I waited my entire life to want someone else in it and now that I do, it's being forcefully taken from me. And you're acting like everything is fine, like we're not fighting for our lives out there. You wanna know what's gotten into me? How pathetic. Open your fucking eyes, Victor, this isn't a game. This is your life, act like it."

"Eve, I didn't mean it like that." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to say I love you unless I know we're going to be okay."

"I did all of this for you." I stare at him through my hurt. "Everything. All of it. Not one second was I here for my own reasons. Why did you come back here? To make me feel better?"

"I was worried."

"You were worried?" I laughed, tears slipping to my chin. "You were worried?! I thought you were fucking dead! I don't want to see you suffer anymore and yet you watch me suffer like it's fun! Im sick, Victor, I'm fucking sick! Im exhausted, I'm hurt, I'm covered in blood that doesn't belong to me, I'm miserable! I want to go home and because of you, home is deadly!"

"That's not my fault, Eve. You can't blame me for what Mary did."

"Why did I ever listen to you?" I turned away from him. "I should've minded my own business." I began to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist. It hurts, his bones dig into my skin.

"What happened when you left earlier? You've been acting strange since you got back."

"I killed the shapeshifter, that's it."