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lexie was praying the ground would just swallow her whole. she would be getting on a plane in less than eight hours but she had something to do first, something she had been avoiding hard.
ever since she started making music the first person she showed the songs to was her brother trevor. he was her saving grace, her idol and the thing she wanted the most in the world was his approval.
she needed the ground to swallow her whole.
she hadn't shown trevor a single song, single snippet, nothing. not a single second, aside from the singles, but she knew she wanted him to hear it all before it was released to the world.
she was sitting on the sofa, curling herself into a ball as she waited for trevor to call her. he was making sure he had the album downloaded on his computer before calling her and listening to it together. she was tempted to just accidentally forget her phone in her apartment and flee to the airport, she was about to do it actually until her phone started ringing.
"hey, i have everything ready" was the first thing he said when she answered, making lexie honestly want to throw up.
she paled, an exaggerated reaction as she tried to get words out "okay, yeah, uh, just play it"
"you okay?" her brother asked with furrowed brows, of course noticing her hesitant tone.
"of course, yeah. just press play please" she said with a plead in her voice, hoping to just get it over with.
"okay, bossy'
and so he did. twenty minutes of trevor screaming his ass off when the songs were danceable, almost crying when the sad ones hurt him. it was going great, lexie was really amused by her brother's reaction until the song she was dreading the most came on. it was her most emotional one in her opinion, and the one she struggled the most deciding if she wanted to publish it.
she was looking at his reaction attendly, refusing to look away from her phone in case she missed an expression but he was stone cold, not a smile, not even a twinkle in his eyes. it looked like he was frozen but the music still playing in the background reassured her he wasn't. her anxiety was as bad as ever, her tears waiting in her lash line, ready to just get free.
the song ended after what felt like an eternity and the only thing trevor did was pause the album and look away from the camera, only freaking her out more "bear?" she asked tentatively, honestly scared to hear what he had to say, " what do you think?"
"jesus christ bug, holy shit" he sighed, burying his head in his hands for a second before looking up "how could you even think i don't like you?" he asked in a soft voice, giving lexie clear view of his watering eyes.
"wha-"
"i'm asking seriously, like genuinely. it's insane you think that lexie. i don't ever want that thought to cross your head again, ever" he stressed, his heart hurting at what his sister thought of him, of what she thought of herself. he could protect her of anyone and everything but he could never protect her of herself, no matter how hard he tried.
"you're gonna make me cry" she whispered with a watery giggle, wiping the rebellious tears that had fallen against her will.
"if it's happy tears it's okay" he said in the same tone, just like her wiping his tears, though more aggressively.
"fuckhead"
"i love you lexie, so much. you don't how thankful i am to have you as my little sister. can you even imagine me being an only child? i would like, combust and die" trevor said sincerely, getting laughs out of his sister. the bond they both had was greater than anything in the world, to the both of them; they were each other's most important person in existence.
"yeah, you need to yap your ear off with someone 24/7" lexie laughed, amused at how her brother didn't even get offended since they both knew it was the truth. between the both of them, trevor was the yapper and lexie did not shut the fuck up.
"yeah! you're the best thing that ever happened to me and i'm so lucky to call you my sister"
"please, keep the compliments coming" she said with a smirk, waving her hand as if she was a princess.
"bitch"
"i love you so much more bear, so much"
"yeah, yeah. anyway, i'm trying really hard to pretend i don't know who the songs are about" trevor admitted, fixing his hair as he took a sip from a bottle of water he had.
"adrien?" lexie asked. trevor never liked adrien, never. he was honestly glad once they broke up.
"you don't even believe that" he snorted, making lexie roll her eyes in annoyance.
"whatever, not all of them are about luke anyway"
"yeah, but the gut wrenching ones are. when i go beat him up i'm not gonna tell you so you won't be able to stop me this time" he said with an easy tone, looking really proud of himself for some reason which just made lexie snort.
"trevor, you were not gonna do a thing. stop lying about it" she laughed, still remembering how he claimed he was gonna fuck him up. it was right after she told him about their situation and how she had broke things off after some bullshit luke pulled. trevor had gotten so mad he was even about to book a ticket to newark but lexie managed to calm him down.
"i was! i so totally was!"
"whatever you say bear"
she was just infinitely glad he liked the album. now the hard part was next, the world's opinion. fun.
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