A Reason To Go On

Chapter 40

Alexia's POV

Sitting beside Jayden's bed watching his chest moving up and down with every breathe hes taking i try to process all the information Ive been given over the past couple of days. The doctor told us that Jayden had internal bleeding from the crash, and several of his ribs had been fractured. He was really lucky that he survived and the doctor confirmed this when she told us without his werewolf healing abilities he would of died in the crash. Even with his advanced healing, hes still in a coma, and the doctors have no idea when he will wake up, because of his head injuries they need to do more brain scans later to check for any permanent brain injuries. Ive been splitting my time between the hospital and my parents house, so i can still spend time with Ryder. Ive not told anyone the news about my pregnancy yet because it doesn't feel right not telling Jayden the news first. I know we don't know how we stand with our relationship yet, but Jayden's an amazing father and i know he will be happy about this unplanned surprise. If Jayden and i do get back together, i will definitely be using protection in the future, i cant believe how i have gotten pregnant twice! Normally werewolves find it hard to conceive, which is why most only have one child. That's why Casey and Jackson are only children, Jayden's parents were lucky when they fell pregnant with Hope, just like mine were with me, but a lot of pack members only have one child. This is why i never thought about protection before as i already had one son, and didn't think i would be blessed with anymore, now I'm kicking myself for not even considering the possibility, Standing up to leave the hospital so i can spend some time with Ryder i quickly give Jayden a quick kiss on the forehead, ignoring the bandage, while promising that i would be back soon. The doctor said that sometimes it helps patients if you talk to them, but i never know what to say to him so generally stay quiet a lot of the times. Sometimes a song will come on in the radio we've set up in his room and sometimes i find myself humming along, just to get rid on the feeling of loneliness Ive had since Jayden's accident. Shaking off those thoughts i head back to my parents, knowing that i need to start taking better care of myself now i have another little person depending on me, hiding in my tummy.

"Alexia, what time are you going to the hospital?" my mum asks as i enter the kitchen. Jayden has been in a coma for five days now, and to say my body is feeling the effects of not sleeping properly would be an understatement. Looking at her i answer "after breakfast, are you still ok to look after Ryder for me?" Both my parents have been great since the accident, never complaining about the amount of time i spend at the hospital. "Yeah that's fine, i was planning on taking Ryder out for the day, so i wont be back until later" she responds, and i feel myself automatically tensing up at the fact Ryder will be going out. Since i got him back after he was kidnapped he rarely leaves the house, and when he does its only to my parents or Jayden's parents houses, i guess I'm still scared someone will try to take him again.

Seeing my reaction my mum quickly rushes out "your dad will be with Ryder and i the whole time, i thought we could go to the zoo" she pauses and seems to think about what shes going to say next as i patiently wait for her to finish speaking. "Alexia its not healthy for you or Ryder to continually keep him couped up all the time. He needs fresh air and new surroundings. What happened, happened and although it shouldn't have it did, but why are you still letting her still dictate your life?."

She didn't have to say her name for me to know who the her was she was referring too, but am i really letting her dictate my decisions? Surely I'm just protecting my son? My mum must have seen something on my facial expressions, reading my thoughts she softly says. "As a parent you want to protect your kids from the world, but keeping him wrapped up in a bubble only hinders his development, not giving Ryder a chance to thrive." Thinking further i know she right, i cant protect him from everything no matter how hard i wish i could, and with another baby on the way i need to get my anxiety under control. Finally agreeing that she was right, i grab some breakfast before giving Ryder some sloppy kisses and telling his i will see him when he gets home. Holding onto the happy feelings Ryder gives me anytime hes smiles so brightly i head back to the hospital.