Breathe | s.b | bridgerton

29

Dearest gentle reader, I must send felicitations to the new Duke and Duchess of Hastings. Congratulations and stamina as they embark on the most exhilarating time in a young couple's life. I am, of course, talking of the honeymoon. Is there a more romantic notion? To retreat from society together......finally leaving watchful eyes behind.

"Welcome to Clyvedon, Your Grace." The housekeeper Mrs. Colson greeted Simon, seemingly ignoring Carina. "It has been so long since we have been blessed with your presence, but I trust you will find everything to your liking.
"I do not doubt it, Mrs. Colson. I hope you have been well." Simon greeted her back before turning towards Carina, his hand settling on the small of her back. "May I introduce to you the Duchess of Hastings?"
"I am looking forward to making your acquaintance, Mrs. Colson." Carina offered with a polite smile, hoping to do just that.

Mrs. Colson simply looked her up and down and coldly replied, "Thank you, Your Grace." Then she turned back to the Duke, completely disregarding Carina yet again.
"I have planned everything to make you both comfortable. First, a light meal, served on the terrace. Then a tour to show you all the improvements I have made. Then..."
Anxious to finally be alone with his wife after the long travel, Simon cut her off, "I am sure it will be most diverting, but I am afraid it will have to wait. I have plans of my own for my new bride." He said, eyes never leaving Carina's as he lead her inside.

Upon entering the entrance hall, Carina all but gasped and marvelled at the unique artistry on the high ceiling, her head twisted upwards as she uttered to Simon, "Its so alluring..." she trailed off.
"It is." Simon simply agreed, his eyes set on the woman by his side, "Alluring indeed.."
As Carina turned to face Simon, he had walked a few steps ahead, "I want to show you the bedroom."
"Yours or mine?" Carina asked with a smile, a jab at yesterday's predicament.
"You truly believe we are to have separate rooms? I should think not." Simon whispered in mock offence, playing along as he picked Carina up in his arms!

"Simon! Stop! They shall see! At least let me make a good impression for a day!" She said, knowing those two could not remain respectful or responsible when around each other for long. Yet, she still didn't want the staff to think poorly of her.
"Does it matter? We are going to end up making a fool of ourselves in front of them soon enough anyways." Simon said with an eye roll as he carried Carina to their bedroom.

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It was the next morning after Carina and Simon spent their evening resting and fooling around like little kids, giggling and joking about.

Carina giggled at Simon's childish antics as she escaped her bed and into the powder room, to dress for Mrs. Colson's tour. Right on time too, as she heard Jeffries enter the room behind her and urge Simon to work. Carina rolled her eyes in amusement once Simon's frustrated voice hit her ears, him saying 'Jeffries, I am on my honeymoon.' with exasperation.
Jeffries on the other hand was relentless, making Simon agree to follow him out eventually.
After a quick kiss, Carina left to go find Mrs. Colson.

As the tour progressed, Carina was positive she made somewhat of a good impression to Mrs. Colson. Her polite responses and attentive attitude pleasing the older lady. She still did not like the look of disregard she often felt directed her way, still it had significantly reduced in intensity and frequency.
As they were wrapping up the tour, with only the last few destinations left, Carina came face to face with a beautiful off-white nursery. Her heart filled with sadness as she was reminded of all the issues regarding children that plagued the young couple.
As she stood there gazing at the crib, she realised, as terrified she was to have children and as much as she wanted to wait some time, the clear rejection of the topic had somehow shifted in her mind without her realising.

She realised as much as she would hate the thought of children being sprung upon her, the thought of a little human running around, with Simon's eyes and his smile, along with her features, a mix of them both, a sign of their love, didn't bother her as much.
She thought what would happen if she were to carry now, and realised that she would maybe not like that a lot, but she would still love her baby to death. She would need a little more time and healing before she even thought of striking this topic with Simon, but she would like to have children after some time.
And Simon. Oh Simon. She wasn't even sure what he desired. Sure, he had said that the thought of bearing children with her had now been a welcome idea to him, but what if he wasn't ready when she was? She would wait, she knew that. It didn't matter how long to her, but would he even want to then? What if he felt betrayed and hurt by her demanding for kids when she clearly told him she wouldn't so many times. What if the pressure makes their marriage crack?

Carina had no idea what would happen with them in the future. She wished she could somehow know what would happen, knowing made her feel in control. She could control and understand things she knew, part of the reason why she had read so much in her early years. Even as Carina walked on beside Mrs. Colson, these thoughts never left her body, filling her with anticipation.
Carina didn't know what would happen. She couldn't change it even if she wanted to.
All she knew was that someday, when she would have healed from the responsibility and burden of raising her siblings, she would want children of her own, with the love of her life.
And when that day comes, she would see what happened then, right now, all she wanted was to enjoy her honeymoon with Simon.

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Speaking of Simon, he had been gone, disappeared behind the doors of his study for hours now. Carina was concerned. She knew that being away for so long had taken a toll on the duke-less estate and things were a lot worse than they seemed. Yet, her husband had missed breakfast, lunch and now tea, running on a mostly empty stomach.
And no matter how much work he had, he needed nutrition to actually get it done and over with. She bet thats what he was attempting to do right now, just diving into the work, attempting to get it over with as soon as possible.
So when tea time had officially passed and Simon was yet to make an appearance, She lifted a plate, setting it with all kinds of pastries, cakes and fruits, noting how sugar and carbohydrates was the best way to energise him, and set off to the study.

With a light knock, she entered the study and walked over to his desk. Simon did not even glance up until Carina was close enough to let him smell the fragrance that is her, he lifted his head, surprised and a soft smile adorning his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he asked in a soft voice, "What are you doing here, love?"
Carina just held up the plate with a smile of her own, "Im here to feed you. You missed breakfast, and lunch." She said softly. Taking the plate from her hands and setting it down, he whispered, "thank you, love" as his hand tugged, making Carina lean down from across the table as she gave him a kiss.
Placing her hands on the table, Carina leaned to look at Simon's papers, asking in a soft tone, "What has you so occupied? Im worried about you."

Simon just let out an exhausted sigh, leaning back in his chair as it scraped a bit backwards.

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Author's note:

Enjoy another chapter! I went loco again and wrote all night. It's currently 5:20 am and would be even later when i publish but oh well...