Pinwheel| A Seventeen FF

Blur Night

Jeonghan's POV:

The meeting ended well and we gained a new customer. He is indeed a great potential profit for our business. We discussed the deal and other important details about the venue and shipment date. His daughter's birthday will be a month from today when he will launch his new Hotel branch in a high locality. A grand ball will be organized and we will supply drugs for the occasion.

Apart from that, the girl who seemed to catch my attention was what concerned me. I lay on my bed after filling my dad with the meeting details. Jihoon went back to our childhood mansion. A knock disturbed my thoughts and soon a head peeked in. 

"Are you tired?" He asked from the door slit. I sighed as I kept my thoughts aside. He won't leave if he won't speak his mind. I am very well aware of his trait ever since we were kids. I finally sat with my back supported by the wall.

"Not yet, Come in." I gestured to him. he came and sat on the empty portion of the bed, facing me. He scanned my face which was his habit before choosing his words. He clicked his tongue as he began speaking.

"Do you miss your brother?" He asked. I was taken aback by a sudden mention of him. He knows our family condition but we still avoid the topic because it brings back painful memories.

"I do. A lot." I replied truthfully. I have never once gone to bed without thinking of him every night. I loved him before. I still do. I have been secretly searching for him for quite a while now and the man before me is helping me in this personal quest of mine. Choi Seungchoel is a great ally.

"I have got some lead. But it is not a good one." I faced him. He was not looking me in the eye. He was instead looking at the mini photo frame that always rested on my bedpost. It was a family picture of us three brothers and Mom and Dad before everything went down. I looked at the smiling faces of everyone. We were a happy family.

"Tell me about it. The truth won't change by concealing."  I replied monotonously. What else can go wrong? Aren't we already at our worst?

" Your mom. She is no more. The moment they went to Los Angeles, your father sent people to kill your brother and mother. Your mom died protecting him. He was able to run and save himself. I don't know if he is still alive but if he is, he doesn't use his name 'Jisoo' anymore." Choel completed it in a breath.

I should have reacted violently or even screamed or at least moaned for her death but  I guess it surprised him way too much when I didn't react the way he expected me to. The shock on his face was evident when I replied instead

"So they succeeded? It's a shame." I huffed. In all honesty, the incident happened in front of me. During one of my training days, I accidentally overheard my dad commanding some of his assassins to annihilate our separated family. I was so scared. It was one of those days when he asked me to perform that one traumatic stunt which turned me heartless. I could never bear the guilt and it changed me.

"You knew?" He asked. He was calm and I was grateful for that.

"Yes. That's why I wanted you to confirm. How did you get the information?" I asked. Now I already left my bed and was standing near the windows, admiring the crescent moon. The curtains were fluttering with the wind, marking a windy night.

"We were able to get hands on the CCTV footage of the street. We saw some people entering the house. After few minutes into the video, the house went into flames. We were able to catch a figure of a boy, running away from the house just in time before the blast." I exhaled a huge sigh that I didn't even know was stuck in my chest. Finally, a lone tear escaped my left eye.

"I am sorry." He said. A comforting silence embraced the room which was exactly what my weeping heart needed. I wanted to bleed in silence so I won't hurt anyone else. I don't feel anger. I feel pity for me and everyone. I have turned into a sadist who likes to be tortured and cry. I don't want to be like this. Sadly, I don't have a choice. So, I came to a resolution with the pain. To sacrifice myself and protect my brother.

"Will you tell Jihoon?" He asked. I looked at him and arched my brows. 

"Tell him what?" I asked. " About your Mom. Will you tell him?" He asked again.

Will I tell him? 

How will he react? 

Will he be able to heal after knowing that?

"I don't know yet," I answered. 

"You should tell him. It's his right."

"He'll be hurt."

"He will be more hurt when he will know that you know and you kept this information away from him. Honestly Jeonghan, it's a selfish move."

"But he is already broken. I may be selfish but it's all for his protection."

"Overprotection is not parenting Han, it's a cage. Tell him and let him react. At least his trust won't break." Seungchoel was being reasonable and I can see how much he was concerned about our bond. I am genuinely lucky about at least having one good thing amongst this chaos - him.

"He doesn't know I have secretly been searching for them. I am not breaking his trust because I never gave him hope or promised him anything regarding this. If the news ever comes out, let it break naturally." I reasoned. I was not ready to see him break even more. He seemed to understand and let go of the topic. Or so I thought.

"You know, you have kept a lot of secrets from him. Be it for his protection or your own." I faced him properly to see him smile gently at me. "And?" I tried to clarify.

"I admire you for what you are doing for your brother. But I would still want you to come clean in front of him. Or them. That is when Jisoo returns. If you ever come on talking terms, Don't hold back Han. Tell them every torture that your father has put you through just to keep them away from the dirtier business. Confess your feelings. Confess your fears. I can't bear to see you hurting like this."

Tears brimmed again in my eyes as I continued staring at my friend. We have grown together and he has joined me midway through the training. He has witnessed me committing that sin too. That's why he best understands me. I nodded as I secretly sobbed while looking at the moon.

"Look, it's 11:11 right now." Choel suddenly exclaimed. " In the myth book, it said that if something is manifested at 11:11 unknowingly, it comes true. Maybe you will get a chance to have a deep talk. Maybe you will meet Jisoo again. Maybe-"

"Okay Okay, I understand." I stopped him midway. 

He and his stupid myth book. 

He pouted like a baby and I can't help but chuckle. I was wrong when I said I had nothing to express myself. I have someone. If Jihoon has his music to cope up, I have Choel.