As The Clock Chimes

Chapter 6: Hell, far away from hell

She was trying again and again, but she was terrified. All she wanted was one friend. But because of what she went through, she was defensive. She didn't want to rely on anyone or anything. She wanted to be with people, yet she did not. She was suffering without knowledge of it. She was placing herself alone in a world where she was pushed to be alone.

She was alone at home; her father was always working, making him unable to notice what was happening back home. She was alone at school, as everyone wanted, or seemed like they wanted, her to drop dead in front of them.

She was only nine, and she had already suffered as much as an adult. For her, school was work; school was hell. For her, home was a penitence; home was hell. There was no escaping it; she was in hell, far away from hell. She couldn't fathom any type of escape. And so she decided she should end it. At almost nine, she had a small kitchen knife, ready to take a bite of blood.

She was crying, tired of being abused, never heard, never cared for. She wanted all the pain to end. She barricaded her door; she wanted to be found dead for awhile. She didn't want to be stopped.

She was saying sorry to the monster for being a hump of trash, and as she was about to slice her stomach open, her door opened. Didn't she barricade it? No, she didn't; she forgot to do it.

Her dad was looking at her, and as a quick reaction, she hid her face and the knife under the bed, blaming her piece of artwork and saying that it didn't work. That is how she passed the event, as she was crying because her art piece didn't do as she wanted. Not that she was going to slice her stomach open.

She always wondered, How does it feel to be stabbed? To get shot? ...

She never got that answer; she never got that escape.

She was twelve when the same kid who bullied her in kindergarten decided to follow her home. She was trying to break her nose, as the main character only wanted to go home. Her father saw that she was terrified.

He decided to take matters into his own hands and went out with his little girl. Once they found the girls bullying the kid, he scolded them. The two small whores looked like they ran for it; they were terrified. They ran to the home of the main bully, only to cry about how the man "touched" them.

The story was going a little too far, as the police decided to intervene, discovering that the little girls were the ones lying.

A week later, a restraining order was placed; the girls and her friend group couldn't be more than five meters close to the main character. She was kind of set free. However, she was still stuck with many other bad people, as they got manipulated by that very demon.

All that she lived from now on was hell—an hell away from nightmares. She never escaped this hard cycle—the cycle of death. At least that was what the poor child, though, was.

She never, ever believed in god, but on the worst nights of her life, she asked any god, and if there was any, why did she have to be the one suffering?

What was worse, the little girl never saw that someone outside did try to help, at least very later on in her life. She was forced to see so much, yet so little. This little girl never learned to cook. She never learned what true familial love was. She never learned what real friends were. She never learned what childhood was.

After not long, she was the punching bag of the whole school. Even the ones she thought she could trust only used her without her knowledge.

This poor little girl never had real friends or a real mother, but she didn't know that. She never did. At least in her childhood, things she never learned. She was never taught by her biological mother how to cook sausages, how to cook fries, or how to use the microwave. She mostly needed to learn on her own; much later, she would learn by the side of her father, creating great memories that would last a lifetime. Something that will be changed in her life will make it livable once again. She will, at some point, have something to fight for, but that will cause much more pain.

She will have to live much more bad things before she can ever dream of having a semblance of a normal life. She will have to wait for years to have something to live for.

A/N

To ease the end of this chapter, she never again thought about suicide, as she was living in too much hell to think about it. She never tried again to kill herself. This comes as a surprise, as she lived a lot in her childhood.

This session was cut short as the person was much more preoccupied as of now. This book will be updated at a later date.

Thank you for reading this book. If possible, spread awareness.

If you are living with, seeing, or suspicious of any type of abuse or treatment someone is experiencing on a daily basis, please don't stay silent. It can be a question of life and death.