28. after

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"I'm trying to understand, something I don't understand. I'm trying to feel how you feel, but I'll never feel what you feel."

All through his life, Vic Fuentes always felt like everything was already decided for him. When he was a kid, he let his parents tell him everything he had to do. He was obedient because he believed they knew what was best for him, and they did, in a way. He was a good kid. Got good grades. His teachers loved him. Never caused trouble.

When he was a teenager, his rebellious phase went as far as growing out his hair and liking heavy metal music. But that was it. He was still good, he still listened to everyone telling him what to do and did it. Kept up the straight A's—even when there was nothing straight about him. Followed rules. He dragged all that to college.

He discovered he was good at painting and drawing, so his high school art teacher suggested Design school. He listened. He was good at it after all and he enjoyed it. He got accepted to an amazing college out of state. He put in the work and fell in love with visual arts. It only made sense.

But he never fell in love for real. Not with Design, not with anyone he ended up dating or randomly hooking up with. Maybe because no one told him to. The only time it ever felt slightly like love was with Matt. But what if that love only existed because an app said they were a match?

Vic Fuentes was the type of guy that just let things happen to him, rather than make them happen for himself. He went through life with ease, but only because he had no idea of how to be otherwise. Because that's how he thought it was supposed to be.

It wasn't until three years ago that Vic finally stopped the cycle.

He discovered his love for teaching after his former University asked him to lead a Summer Course for high school kids interested in his career. He accepted the job, rather nervously, but after the first class ended, he just knew.

He knew he fucked up most of all, choosing the wrong career path, but he also knew he could, perhaps, fix it.

Going back to school to teach was the first decision he ever truly made for himself, and he didn't regret a single thing, despite it being terrifying at first. Life had been looking up ever since. He didn't have to move out this time, he could still see his family and his friends and his eventual boyfriend and it was great. He was pursuing his passion, he loved his classes, he landed his teaching internship, and he still got hired for some freelance design work. It was great, it was all... great...

Vic didn't know why he was thinking of all this. Why his life flashed before his eyes the moment Kellin Quinn kissed him for the first time. But it did make him understand something.

That first choice he made for himself three years ago led him to the second most important one.

Because he didn't push Kellin away.

Granted, he was very drunk. But he wasn't an idiot. It only took one kiss to know, just like he knew back then.

Maybe that's why, the second Kellin pulled him in, Vic kissed him back, purposely, regaining a bit of consciousness, trying to process everything while his body and heart responded to every kiss and every touch. It was insane. He felt insane. What was he doing?

He had no idea a kiss, or several could ever feel like that. He had no idea he would... like it so much. Hell, he was finding out way too many things at once, he couldn't keep up. Kellin. Kellin. His lips were so soft, his body so warm, his touch sending shivers all through him. Oh my God. Vic's heart was bursting. His mind spun in circles. And yet it was as if he never wanted it to end.

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