22. hatred

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"I try to keep my head up. I try to keep myself from feeling this way."

Kellin Quinn got the call just as he was settling down on his desk. It was a little past 8 am, exactly a week after his first talk with Phoebe. He was checking something on his phone before sitting down on his chair and officially starting his shift, a disposable coffee cup in his other hand, his mind completely in a different realm, when his desk phone rang.

It wasn't usual for him to get calls on that phone, more often than not he got called on his cell or contacted by email. So the frown that appeared on his face was sort of justified. He checked the ID and the frown deepened.

It was Trenton's assistant's number.

Well, shit.

Kellin sat down and picked it up.

"Good morning Kellin," Alice's perky voice came through the line. "How are you?"

"Hey Alice," Kellin said, trying not to sound as weary as he felt. "Good morning. I'm alright. You?"

"I'm okay, thank you," Alice replied. The small talk was making him even more anxious. Thankfully, Alice cut right to the chase after that. "So I was calling to check on your schedule today, how's it looking?"

"Oh," Kellin raised his eyebrows, thinking, then quickly getting his laptop and checking his calendar. "I have a few meetings but they're all after lunch. Why?"

"Trenton wants a meeting with you so I'm checking your availability," she said calmly. Kellin could hear her typing on her laptop. He could feel his stomach sink. "So... would you be okay coming up here at 11?"

"L-like today at 11?" he couldn't help stumbling over his words. That's so soon. He could already feel his pulse racing.

"Yes," was all Alice said.

"Did he say what's it about?"

"No... I'm afraid not," she said slowly. Kellin bet everything that she knew. "Could be tomorrow if it's a bad time."

"No, no," Kellin said quickly. Might as well get it over with now. "Today at 11 is fine."

"Great!" Alice chirped again. Kellin could hear more typing. "Just sent you the invite to your email. See you soon."

"Sure," Kellin said, with way less excitement. "Thanks, Alice."

Kellin downed his entire cup of coffee in five seconds after hanging up the phone, groaned internally, and got up from his chair in a rush.

He needed to clear his mind. He needed some fresh air. He looked at his watch and decided that it wouldn't hurt anyone if he went to the parking lot to scream in silence inside his car for a few minutes. It wouldn't hurt anyone if he was getting fired today by the CEO of the company for being stupid. So he said nothing to anyone and did exactly that.

But it didn't exactly calm him down. He just stood there, leaning on his car wishing he had a bad habit like smoking or something to calm his nerves. He could feel his hands shake already, signs of being a complete wreck.

He tried taking deep breaths. He made himself believe that it worked.

——

The elevator doors opened at exactly 11 am. Kellin checked his watch.

He walked towards Alice's desk, right outside the doors that led to the CEO's office, and smiled at her. He tried to look as confident as he could, and he believed he was succeeding but deep down he was trembling.

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