Adventures of the Littlevengers!

2) Quinjets and bathroom disasters

“No, no Tony, don’t touch that. Thor! Put the knife down! Oh my god, I am going to kill Fury! Pepper, Pepper honey put your seatbelt back on, no don’t climb tha- Clinton Francis Barton! What the hell do you think you are doing up there?” Maria was having a hard time getting the little heroes settled for take-off. Technically she was supposed to take a jeep and drive from New York to Florida, but there was no way she was spending 17 hours in a car with seven small children, she just hoped she would be able to get them all strapped down and ready for take-off before Fury realised what she was doing.

Then she had a brilliant idea.

“Who wants to play let’s see who can stay quiet for the longest?” she asked hopefully.

“How stupid do you think they are?” Bruce asked without looking up from the instruction manual he was reading. He seemed to be the only one who wasn’t trying to drive Maria insane, except for Natasha who had sat down near the back without making a fuss and was singing softly to herself in Russian. The anti-ageing effects had erased almost all of their memories from before they had been that age the first time, so no one really knew what was going through Natasha’s head, or even if she understood English.

“Well do you have a better idea?” Maria asked him as she tried to pry Clint’s nimble fingers off a metal pole connected to the ceiling. She made a mental note to remove all climbable furniture from the facility as she didn’t think Fury would be too happy if one of his best agents killed himself falling from the ceiling.

“Anthony Stark if you don’t sit down right now I will personally pull all of your hair out!” she screeched as Tony sat down in the pilot’s seat and pretended he was flying it, complete with making little “pew, pew” sound with his mouth, imitating a fighter jet.

“You can’t boss me around, I’m Tony Stark, and nobody bosses me around. Who are you anyway? The guy with the eye-patch called you hill, is that your name? That’s a funny name. What’s his name?” Tony questioned endlessly and finally Maria dragged him by him by his legs and locked him an a soundproof holding cell near the back of the jet. One had been installed in each jet after Loki had escaped so easily with Thor’s help after they captured him in Germany, and for once Maria was thankful for the God of Mischief.

“The next person to talk goes in there with him,” she threatened and, after a second round of annoy the shit out of Maria, and after she had figured out how to work the anti-release seatbelts, they were finally ready to go.

“What is your name?” Steve asked quietly, praying he wouldn’t get put in the cage with the loud boy, Tony.

“My name is Maria, and now we are all going to be quiet, ok?”

There was no reply. Maria smiled to herself, this might not be too bad.

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“I need to pee!” Pepper screamed after they had been flying for just over an hour.

Everyone had been quiet up until now, but as soon as Pepper broke the silence everyone else assumed that they could too.

“So do I,” almost everyone added.

“There’s no bathroom on the jet,” she replied, hoping they would leave it at that.

“But I need to pee! “ Pepper repeated her lip quivering in a way only small children know how, making Maria’s heart melt.

“Alright, give me a minute and I’ll find a rest stop. Who else needs to use the bathroom?”

“Me,” the children chorused, and Maria wondered just how she was going to take care of them alone, she teared up as she thought about how Phil should be helping her, but pushed the thought aside and radioed a nearby helicopter pad for permission to land.