Undecided Feelings [ON GOING]

Chapter 15

Tahimik lng ako saming byahe, pero may time na sa tuwing mag kukuwento ng kung anong bagay si Vin, ska lng ulit napupuno ng ingay ang kanyang kotse.

As he said earlier, sya na talaga naghatid sa'kin kahit sinabi ko nang wag na. Wala naman akong nagawa, kasi pag dating talaga sa kanya sya talaga masusunod.

Nang makarating na kami sa tinutuluyan namin ni mommy na bahay, he stare at me like he was saying mamaya ako bumaba Or maybe I'm just imagining things because of what I discover earlier.

"Uhmm... baba na'ko" Nahihiyang saad ko nang makaramdam ako ng awkwardness saming dalawa

"Ishia"

I look at him as he call my name. Bumaba sya sa kotse at pinag buksan ako ng pinto, nginitian ko sya nang makalabas na'ko.

"Thanks"

Bago pa man ako makalakad, he suddenly hug me. I was startled at first but I slowly hug him back.

"I'm so grateful that I finally have you again... sobrang tagal kong pinagdasal na makasama ka ulit" Saad nya habang naka yakap parin sakin

I secretly smile, kahit na hindi ko talaga halos maalala ang tungkol samin. My heart telling me that I'm also grateful to have him. Hindi ko talaga inexpect na yung taong pinagmamasdan ko non at hinihinalaan na sya yung taong hinahanap hanap ng aking sarili, ay ngayon nasa harapan ko na.

"Ingat pag dadrive" I said and wave at him as I wait him to get in on his car

***

"Did it went well?" Tanong ni mommy habang busy sa pagluluto

"Yes mommy, ang grande ng reunion party nila" Saad ko at umupo sa sopa

"Did you ate breakfast?"

"Konte lng mommy, pero hindi ko kayang tanggihan pag luto mo" Masayang saad ko at pumunta na'ko sa lamesa ska umupo

***

Natapos kaming kumain na patuloy kami ni mommy nagchikahan. Na banggit din nya na 2 days nalang kami mag sstay dito tapos babalik na ulit kaming Manila. Kaso ako lng pala ang babalik sa Manila at babalik na pala ulit si mommy sa ibang bansa.

Before I even went to my bedroom, my mind suddenly ask something "Mommy, did you know that I have a childhood friend?"

My mom suddenly stop of what she's doing. Kita ko sa reaction nya parang nabigla talaga sya sa tanong ko.

"Uhmm..."

Hindi agad si mommy na ka pag salita. I don't why I'm feeling something is not right.

"Actually meron nga Ishia" Kalmadong saad nya habang papalapit sya sa'kin

"How long did you knew about it mom?"

"I knew it when you were little Ishia"

"Then why you didn't tell me?"

"I would tell you if I still know him"

"Him?"

My mom didn't respond immediately. Parang nagiisip pa sya kung ano ang sasabihin nya sa'kin.

"Let's talk in your bedroom" Saad nya at na una nang pumunta sa'king kuwarto

********************************
(ishia mom) Ellisa POV:

Nang nasa loob na kami ng kuwarto, I invite Ishia to sit beside with me. Bago'ko magsalita I sigh first.

"Ishia... I don't want you to be mad at me" Panimula ko

"I don't want you to think that I'm keeping a secret to you, and I would tell you if I still know your childhood friend... sobrang tagal na kasi non and I couldn't believe that you still remember him"

"You sure mommy?" She said

Sa reaction nya, I think I didn't convince her. I know that I said to her I'm not laying, but deep inside I just want her to live in peaceful and live for the best. Siguro ganon din naman ang gagawin ng ibang magulang di'ba?

That it's better to keep it rather than reaviling it to them. Cause I know it will only hurt, and that's the thing I don't want her to experience.

I'm doing this for her, for the sake of her bright future

"Ofcourse Ishia"

"Then you didn't know that tita Marie son is my childhood friend?" Direstong saad nya

I couldn't say anything. I didn't know that she will know that sooner. Mas lalo akong kinakabahan, what if she knew something more than that? It can't be, hindi pedeng mangyari yon. My plans will be ruined.

"Really?" Inosenteng tanong ko

"Don't act like you don't knew it mommy"

I sigh "Ishia... I really don't know"

"Then how you too become friends?

I think I'm out of words. Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko ang totoo o mag bubulaan-bulaan ako na hindi ko talaga alam.

"Ishia...look... I' sorry" Panimula ko

"I don't want you to be hurt okay?"

"Then do you think lying to me wouldn't hurt me?"

"Ishia... that's not what I meant"

"Then explain it to me!"

I was startled when she suddenly shout. Ramdam ko na naiinis na sya sa'kin, hindi ko naman sya masisisi. Because it was my fault.

"Calm down Ishia, wag kang sumigaw katabi mo lng ako"

Her tears is starting to come out. I knew it, she's also sensitive like me. I can see her as my younger self.

"Yun lng naman kasi mommy ang tinatanong ko, pero bakit parang ang hirap hirap na sabihin mo sa'kin yon... I just want a conformation.. gusto ko lng maka sigurado na si Alvin ay si Vin talaga" Naiiyak na saad nya

"Did you met him already?" Patatakang tanong ko

"Yes I did... that's why I want a conformation"

I sigh "Alvin is Vin, he is... your childhood friend" I said without hesitation

Ishia has a right to know about it. Tutal childhood friend naman nya yon, I would be really selfish if pati yung naging kaclose nya ay ipagdadamot ko rin.

I know I'm being a selfish mother to Ishia everysince her father died in the car accident. I don't want her to dwell in the past, especially I think she's okay with her stepdad. Even tho she didn't knew that her real father died.

Ayaw ko na din naman ipaalam sa kanya, wala din namang kuwenta ang tatay nya buhat nung iwanan kami. That's why its better if I just keep it. I wouldn't allow Ishia to discover the thing in the past. I want to protect her, especially in her relatives that been wanting Ishia to be with them.

hindi pedeng malayo nila sa Ishia sa'kin.

END POV

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