Chapter 9 - Hungry

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*Tw - Self harm, eating disorder mentions of suicide*

*This is quite a heavy chapter and jumps straight to it*
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You got into your room and picked up your phone, Leah said she was going getting something so you thought you'd just wait for her, you had 38 notifications, mostly from your teammates trying to find out what was wrong but you hadn't seen them till now. You put your phone on silent and went to the bathroom, the pain washed over you again hitting you like a tonne of bricks. As a teenager you picked up a bad habit whenever you felt as though the world was going to end, or rather you was going to end it. You opened the draw and saw the blade that you had brought to camp, you didn't know why you brought it but you felt like you was going to want it because of the emotions you were gonna be feeling. You picked it up and the blade hit your skin, the pain felt so good in such a bad way and you knew how bad it was but you kept going until you heard someone open the door. You scrambled to hide the blade and pull your sleeve over your wrist acting like you had just been to the toilet.
"Hey I brought you food"
Leah said coming behind you and hugging you.
"Thanks but I'm not really hungry"
Leah frowned and sat on the bed patting the space next to her, you sat down and looked at her concerned face.
"Y/n, I've kinda noticed you don't eat a lot and I'm getting worried because in the past week I've seen you eat maybe 5 meals"
Your heart sank, you had always struggled with food because at school you were called names for eating too much when in reality you just needed the energy you did football everyday on top of other things. You developed anorexia but hadn't ever told anyone about it, not even Gabby or Esme who were your best friends.
"Erm, well it's kinda hard to explain"
You started, you were a stuttering mess
"we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to love"
Leah rubbed your arm with her hand making you wince because of the cuts, you didn't think Leah noticed because she wrapped her arms around you and you fell back onto the bed when the door went again
"Hey love birdss"
It was Millie, you were a bit confused because you hadn't told her about you and Leah
"Did you tell her?"
You said to Leah as you both sat up
"No"
"Wait are yous actually together?"
Millie looked just as surprised as you were, you and Leah looked at each other not knowing how to react
"I'm honesty so bloody confused"
Leah said breaking the brief silence

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