Hark! Another person has sputtered out their compressed air for the final time.. People are turning into aerosol cans and Mother Pomskilly seems to be caught up in the middle of it! Journey with our babygirls and men: Mother Pomskilly, a quirky goss...
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*slaps train* "This bad boi, Leancloth can fit so many dogs in it!"
Eja and Mysterious Train Lady hugged sensationally. "Howdy Eja's partners! My name is Jacqueline Houston! I'm from Houston! Don't ask how my train got across the Atlantic Ocean, that's a trade secret YEE HAW!"
Anyway, Mother Piporgangeman and Sasha (bad hair bad day bad hair hair bat bad hair day) and the Lee Arknights in her pocket said: "The storm is approaching, I am not one of them. I'm here to help you."
"I'm a strong independent WAHman, how dare you go toxin' your expertise at me, ya darn Barbiegirls!" Jacqueline immediately regrets her words when a huge reverse raincloud appears and turns her into shapes! the clock on her hand becomes '1999' and she realises she's been bamboozled!
But then, she wakes up, standing in front of the train!?
Mother Pancreas looks at her concernedly, judgementally and detailedly and analysingly. "Your name is..? Who are you?"
"Who am I? My name is Jacqueline Houston! I'm from Houston! Don't ask how my train got across the Atlantic Ocean, that's a trade secret YEE HAW!"
IMMEDIATELY AFTER, SHE PASSES OUT. Eja turns to the group. "This is probably a side affect of drinking copious amounts of sodium hydroxide 1mol/dm of solution. Since her stomach acid is acid, she's a little fucked!"
The all board the toxic gossip train and Eja carries Jacqueline inside. As they see the insides of the train, they are mesmerised! It is deluxe, modern, beautiful, pretty beautiful, sparkly and beautiful! There's just one thing... the ground is covered with luggage and aerosol cans.
"Still no hairspray!" says Sasha (who has hair that's not having a good day).
Lee Arknights whines in the pocket, having yet another mental episode. I mean, he is stuck in a pocket.
Jacqueline AWAKENS, cleans all the cabins in an instant by throwing the cans (containing the souls of humans) onto the tracks and rummaging through all their luggage. Then she introduces herself again. "My name is Jacqueline Houston! I'm from Houston! Don't ask how my train got across the Atlantic Ocean, that's a trade secret YEE HAW! And I'm not gonna fall asleep this time!" and she doesn't! Did I subvert your expectations?
"What are we gonna do?" says Mother Ponciri, "At this rate, we'll roll down the drains too!"
"That would be awful for the environment..." says Eja dejectedly.
MEANWHILE
Oxford.. IS NOT DEAD! But aerosofied he is, and as pressured cum no less! You see, when he was turned into a can, he was still trying to escape the volcano using his sticky elastic substance which originates from his yogurt slinger, and as he was about to BURST, he felt it... the feeling of shrinking.. of PPSPSPPSFSFSFSFSFFing... of becoming.. AN AREOSOL CAN! Alas, he is now permanently blue-balled for the foreseeable future, with no way to release...
He had made his way to the grocery store. He could smell their GIANT footsteps as he desperately tried to resist the call of the drain. He was aight through, because he was so swollen he couldn't fit.
He followed the scent of their GINORMOUS feet I mean footsteps towards the train station. He needed to be released.. Desperately he tries to mind the gap, between the train and the platform.
BACK ON THE TRAIN
"My name is Jacqueline Houston! I'm from Houston! Don't ask how my train got across the Atlantic Ocean, that's a trade secret YEE HAW! But, little tip, its because I'm a MASTER at driving trains! It's time to start the journey!!"
"yEAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" says everybody genuisly.
"Now, pals, to start and power this train, we gotta do two things! One, fuck me in the ass and call me David! And two, sing along with me!:
I haven't been doing so great
So I took a little break
So a lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true Doesn't matter if it's true though Just as long as it's entertaining to you, right? [Chorus] Chugging down the tracks of misinformation [Spoken] Uh, hi, everyone I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things Here we go It was kinda like, uh, when you go to like a family gathering, you know? And there's a weird aunt there who keeps coming up to you and going like, "Hey, girl, what's the tea?" And you're like, "Eh" Um, that was me, but in group chats with my fans, it was weird
[Verse 1]
I've poured my heart out to you, and because of that, I feel
[Spoken] But that's not very interesting, is it? [Chorus] The locomotive's fueled with hateful accusations you despise Maybe didn't deserve to die [Spoken] Um, you know, we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes And grow and change their behavior and be a better person This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes And it's something that I will continue to try to do—what? Oh, you don't care? Oh, okay [Verse 2] I thought you wanted me to take accountability But that's not the point of your mob mentality, is it? No Your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise [Spoken] Yeah, um, I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video [Verse 3] [Verse 4] My reputation's deceased [Spoken] [Verse 5] Now, have I made some jokes in poor taste? Yes Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? Yes Am I sad that there's some fans that feel betrayed? Yes But was my intention to manipulate? No [Spoken] It doesn't really matter what my intention was Um, it doesn't matter that these things aren't true Uh, everyone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children So, I just wanted to say that, um I'm not a groomer, I'm just a loser [Verse 6] So even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me And I also wanted to say that To anyone out there who has ever supported me in any capacity [Spoken] I really, really appreciate you, thank you [Chorus] You're chugging down the tracks of misinformation You got a one-way ticket to manipulation station You tied me to the tracks and harassed me for my past I won't survive in the crash, but hey [Spoken] Actually, you know, I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something, um Seems like maybe you're confused about something? I don't know Let me try to help, um [Outro] [Spoken] But what do I know? Fuck me, right?
CUT TO OXFORD MINDING THE GAP BETWEEN THE TRAIN AND THE PLATFORM
"Hmm what's that sound ahh~" Oh no! he falls down the gap between the train and the platform! Underneath, he hears it...
"TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN! CHUGGING DOWN THE TRACKS OF: MISINFORTION!-"
"AAAHHHHHHHHH"
Author's Notes
Hey Stacy Gaymers! StacyGaymin here! So I've been slaying all day and I decided to finally stop being lazy and write this!!!! Isn't it amazing? The title is from an adventure my dad had when he was six lol he passed away in said adventure (rip!!) so I wanted to pay tribute to him by naming this chapter after him!! because he was born in 4 4 2004! (I'm magic eheh~)
Jacquline: *singing beautifully about how she was murdered by the internet*
