Like Starlight and Wine (A Baldur's Gate 3 Astarion x Tav Fanfic)

35. Down By The River PT. 1

I peel off my blood-stained shirt and trousers, exposing my bare skin to the cool forest air. Quickly, I discard the ruined clothes onto the soft, mossy ground below with a defeated sigh. I should have at least gone back to camp for a clean change of clothing before I decided to bathe. But even now in the late afternoon, I'm not quite ready to face my companions yet. They probably need a little more time before they see me again. Well... let's face it - I need more time. But now I have nothing clean to change into once I wash myself after a long night of... well - murder, I guess.

Tentatively, I dip my toe into the gentle, bubbling brook... the one that I had found earlier, and followed deeper into the woods to ensure that none of my companions would run into me (not that I truly expected anyone to come looking for me after what I did last night).

The water is shockingly cold; probably snow and ice melt-off from the white capped mountains in the distance. I immediately jerk my toe away from the frigid water, shivers making waves down my spine, and forming goose-flesh along the surface of my naked skin. Too bad I couldn't boil myself a nice hot bath right about now. I'm sure my aching muscles would sing my praises. But I would have to go back to camp to collect a pot for boiling and a tub for bathing. And I won't go back. Not yet anyway.

I'm so desperate to wash the scent of Alfira's blood from the rest of my flesh that I'm almost willing to take a quick dip in this freezing water. Eager, even. If this gently bubbling brook had even the slightest chance of helping me to cleanse my guilty conscious... even if only by a fraction... I would be willing to jump into it in a heartbeat. In reality, I know I can't wash away my sins with water, but I have to do something...

I hiss out a long breath of air as I take my first steps into the brisk water, slowly and carefully wading out into the center of it. The deepest part of the trickling brook only reaches up to my knees, but in a few moments my skin is already chilled, and tingling from the cold.

"Let's make this quick," I tell myself, as I begin splashing and scrubbing at my body with hand-fulls of the frigid water. My muscles tense against the cold to keep themselves from shivering and quaking, and I clench my jaw to still the chattering of my teeth. The cold is unpleasant, I think to myself. But Alfira's suffering in her final moments was leagues ahead of this discomfort.

I shake my head, trying not too think too hard about it. Then, bending over the bubbling brook, I begin to rake the cold water through my hair, my fingers ripping through tangled clots of blood and bits of congealed flesh all knotted up in my dark strands. The bard... the sweet bard... she's in my hair. Or, at least, pieces of her are. I feel my body going numb and I can't tell if it's because of the cold, or the sudden sense of dissociation trickling into me. But the unpleasant feeling doesn't last long before another, more potent one seeps in.

The tadpole in my brain squirms suddenly, excitedly, recognizing the presence of another worm nearby. Meanwhile, my own senses pick up on something, or someone, in close proximity to me. I get the sudden, uncanny feeling that I'm being watched. I stand up straight, my heart pounding in my chest as my head whirls around, looking for the nearest sign of danger. My hand instinctively goes to my hip for a dagger that isn't there. Damn it, no weapon. I curse to myself, remembering that I'd left it along the shoreline before wading into the water. Would I have enough time to dive for my dagger before a possible ambush?

My wide eyes dart wildly about, searching the treeline until at last my gaze lands upon the silhouette of a man leaning up against a nearby tree, a pair of ruby-red eyes like two points of glittering light peeking out at me from beneath the soft shadows. I recognize those eyes in an instant.

"A-Astarion?" I stutter in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, don't mind me," he says in his silky smooth voice as he casually steps out of the shadows and into the warm sunlight, a sly smile playing at his pretty lips. "I was just enjoying the view."