Picture Perfect

35.

~Kyler~

Today is the viewing party for baby EJ as he is officially 1 month old as of last week. He was born on May 18th and today is June 24th. Garrison died February 22nd, meaning it's been 4 months and 2 days since Sam and I have been in this fucked up space. I want my girl back.

I tried to call her to see if she flew in for the party but she's not answering my calls. She hasn't been answering my calls. Last time I saw her in person, was at the hospital the day after EJ was born. She still didn't look like herself. Or look like she was taking the best care of herself. Her hair was styled in a messy bun every day she was here, her skin looked washed out, and she just had a bad attitude, only toward me though. It was a little hard to be around her not gonna lie, but she's still my baby regardless.

We've both been doing each other all types of wrong behind the shit that happened. Now I want to make it right. And if I have to fly to Michigan right now to do it, I will. But first, I'll pay Elijah and Jabari a visit to bring the baby's gift by and say hi to little man. I could also use some advice to make sure I'm not acting like a lunatic for wanting to just go get her.

"If that's what you feel like doing Ky, then you do it. There's no rules or any type of science to this shit man. Your girl acting up, you go put her in her place. Straight like that."

"Really Jabari?" Elijah shakes her head continuing to rock the baby to sleep in his swing.

"On the real though, y'all gotta fix the situation. Or else everything that's happened, would've been for nothing. You two were serious to the point of wanting to have a kid together. That don't just change overnight. Yeah, you went through something traumatic together but I think you guys have spent enough time apart to be able to come back together and be stronger than ever." He speaks confidently.

Elijah clears her throat and points to me.

"Speaking of that, you know, me and home girl haven't really spoken in a minute but when she was here, I couldn't help but notice that she looked a little... you know." She moves her hands as if to say wider.

I shake my head no.

"Not to me. What are you trying to say Elijah? Use your words like you tell the kids."

She flicks me off.

"I'm for real though. It's been a lot going on so I never got around to asking but, could she be pregnant?"

There's no way. She would've told me if she was. She was wearing baggy clothes though. But I thought it was just her not wanting to dress up because of her mood or something.

"Oooh, nah." Jabari shakes his head. "I think she would've said something. You know how long it's been since she would've gotten pregnant? At least, so I think. Why would she wait this long?"

"Because they not fucking with each other right now. She wouldn't say anything if she felt like there was a chance he'd change his mind and say he's not ready for a kid or something. Kyler, I think you should go see about my friend. I'm sure she's okay but, I want you guys to get back right. Especially if she could be carrying your child. She'd have to be more than halfway through by now."

"And that's scary to think about. If she is pregnant, and is that far along. It means I missed a whole lot."

I call Samantha's brother to let him know I'm coming into town and wanted to talk to him. I need to get a better understanding of where Samantha's head is at, and what's been going on.

I feel as though a great part of me won't be able to reasonably try to listen to whatever bullshit excuse she could give me to explain her fucked up decision to keep the pregnancy a secret from me.