Broken Rule

§ CONFESSIONS §

Monse's POV
________________________________________________
I woke up, just lying down and looking up at the ceiling. And there the flash back was.

*flash back *

I was walking on campus as usual smiling at myself. I got to the information bureau and everyone turned to look at me. There were people pointing to my direction or should I say specifically me. They were murmuring and I knew there was bad news. I got a bit closer and what I saw was enough to send me to my maker. My hands turned to tight fist and I immediately left the place. As I walked slowly towards the exit, Anna shouted my name, “Mon!” I stopped.
“Is _anything the matter? You don't look well” she asked with concern. I lifted my gaze to meet hers and the tears rolled down the curve of my cheeks. I dropped my things on the floor when we entered the room. I threw myself onto my bed and wept so hard. Anna tried to coax me and I fell asleep.
*End of flashback *

“Darling, I heard you skipped lessons today” my dad asked when I went down for supper “are you alright?”
“I'm fine now, dad” I answered.
“But do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.
“No!” came my rushed answer “we better leave things the way they are”
“O_kay” was all he said.
I saw a worried look on his face. I felt very bad, so I decided that, “Dad, don't worry too much about me”
“Why shouldn't I worry about you. You are my girl, my love” I heard him say.
“Dad, there's nothing to worry about. It's just that my grades were bad this time”
“How are you feeling right now?” he showed concern.
“Better. It was due to examination anxiety and ____I know what caused that. I just need to work on it. That's all”. I smiled and he smiled back. I ate supper alone. I had a cup of milk shake and nuggets that was ordered by dad. After having a cold bath, I felt like I was more than better. Anna called and we had a lengthy chat. Hans called after I hanged up.

“Monse” was the first thing he said.
“Heard what happened. That's why you called, right? I asked.
“Nope. You're wrong. I saw not heard. How are you?” he asked.
“Better now. No need asking you how you are when I know you're very happy” I said.
“You think I'm happy because I took your place?” he asked with disbelief.
“You think I'm happy knowing that you're sad? No, then you are wrong again. Why do you always have this weird impression about me. I thought we were friends but it looks like you don't know me well and don't believe me too. I feel like you don't even want to know me, cause all you do is just stay away”
I was quiet because he was right in a way. All I did was distance myself. But it isn't my fault. How am I suppose to explain to him that I have feelings for him knowing very well he has a girlfriend and also knowing very well that ‘we’ have a rule.
“Do you despise me?” he asked when I said nothing. “sometimes, no __ all the time I feel hurt when you avoid me. Do you wanna know why?”
I was curious yet, I gave no reply.
“Answer me” I could see he was desperate at this point.
“Yes” my lips betrayed me.
F*** did I just say yes? What happened to the ‘no’ I planned.
“I like you” he confessed. I hanged up. Enough! My rib cage wanted to break due to the loud thuds of my heart. ‘Geez’ not now.
*pim pim*
“Good night” he texted.
Some part of me wanted to reply but I had a lot on my mind.

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