Their Little Bethany

Chapter 15

Luke's POV

After breakfast, Daniel and I cleaned up the kitchen while Beth sat in her highchair with her stuffy, we caught her watching us every now and then but she would quickly look back her her horse like it was the most interesting thing ever.

"I think we should go watch another movie what do you think love?" Daniel asked Beth then looked at me. "I think that is a great idea, especially now it's begining to rain so a movie day sounds good," I said to back Daniel up while looking at Beth who nodded her head slightly almost like she was unsure of her answer.

Daniel picked her up and we made our way to the living room where they sat on the sofa while I grabbed some blankets and the remote for the TV and dimmed the lights before I joined them on the sofa. Daniel had sat Beth down in the middle and asked what she wanted to watch but again we just got a shrug of the shoulders. We looked at one another before I suggested Sing thinking she would like it. About thirty minutes into the film I paused it with a sigh, Beth wasn't being herself, there was no shouting or cursing about being here, no smiles or giggles like the movie last night and I was becoming worried since there had been radio silence since breakfast. 

"Is everything okay love? You have been very quiet since breakfast," I was worried and I could tell looking at Daniel he was thinking the same thing and again we got a reply of shrugged shoulders. "You know you can talk to us, that's what we are here for," Daniel adds. We sit for what seems like hours where it was most likely a few minutes before we hear a heavy sight and she finally decides to talk. 

"I don't know"

"You don't know what love?" 

"Anything, what to do, how to cope, I don't understand any of this, I don't know how to go with it, I don't know what to do to make me feel normal especially here in this situation, how do I let go?" Beth rambles on we let her get it all out and calm down before we reply. 

"What do you mean how do you let go?" Daniel asked her.

"Nothing," she said, "It's not nothing we can't help unless you tell us," I replied.

"I can't, I shouldn't, It's embarrassing and shouldn't be happening either not in this situation," she says getting herself worked up. 

"Okay love, you need to try and calm down a little, you are getting yourself worked up. What is going on you need to tell us," I say lifting her into my lap and cuddling her close to me. I kiss her forehead and rock her side to side until she calms herself enough to talk to us. 

"Last night....," she starts but then stops herself. 

"Last night what love?" Daniel pushes. 

"Just, I have never...... never felt like that before" she states with a nervous breath.

"Like what?" It's now my turn to push, I can see Beth is fighting with herself but she needs to get this out I know she does but she needs a push to get there and that is ok we will push as much as she needs us to even if she is not aware she needs it. 

"Safe, I have never felt that safe before, I feel like you are messing with my head making it feel all fuzzy, and a part of me likes it but the other is fighting it saying this is all wrong and I can't cope with myself warring with myself and now I'm rambling I don't ramble I rarely talk never mind ramble and..." she begins to blurt out but I stop her by taking hold of her hands and turning her to face me. 

"I am glad you felt safe that is what we are here for, we want you to feel safe all the time and as for the feeling fuzzy that is you wanting to let go of all the pressure you feel and relax, you need to let us know when you feel that way we can help, Now for you warring with yourself I know it's hard but don't your little space is wanting to come out and let your big space take a break that's all it is and there is nothing wrong with it at all, never and I mean never feel embarrassed or worried or anything about how you act or feel around us. We love you and we will support you no matter what headspace you are in." I say with a serious tone. I need Beth to understand that there will NEVER be any judgment and this is what Daniel and I want from her, we want her to let go and have a childhood she missed out on.

"Can you try and let go or at least tell us when you feel like this sweetheart?" Daniel asked. 

"I-I can try, I want to try, you both make me feel safe, It's nice," Beth said.

Daniel and I looked at each other with big goofy grins and had a group hug with our little girl before we cuddled up and finished watching the movie.