We May Not Have Yesterday, But At Least We Have Tomorrow

Chapter Six

Emma must ache from the wedge Regina's forcing between them because when she wakes up in the middle of the night, Emma is on her side of the bed, with her hands tucked beneath her chest like she's desperately trying to keep her hands to herself. The image is actually quite endearing and has Regina frowning because she does feel bad. She tries to put herself in Emma's shoes, something Dr. Hopper had been working on with her. This version of Emma must be devastated, knowing she can't touch her wife or laugh with her; feeling as though she's walking on eggshells and wondering if she will ever get her wife back.

Another element to all of this mayhem is that Regina has never been in a relationship with a woman before. Women were always just sexual conquests when she was bored in the Enchanted Forest. Technically, she's never been in a real relationship before at all. Yes, there was Daniel but they were never out and open. It was only a few stolen kisses and quick conversations before mother interrupted. She loved him with all her heart but she has no idea what could have been if they had to spend quality time together. They never even slept together.

Then there was the King, who she refuses to think about but she can label it as the forced and sick mockery of a relationship.

Graham was the longest she had ever slept with someone but that's all that it was. They never had deep or meaningful conversations, no pillow talk after sex, just sex. Plain old sex, always in missionary position. Her heart doesn't even skip a beat thinking about those times together. It was just something to do when she was bored and most times she was just as bored with him.

So how does she even begin to let her guard down or try to be in a relationship with Emma? Honestly, she doesn't even think she would feel comfortable hugging the woman. And everyone just expects her to be all lovey-dovey with her?

An unexpected grumble comes from the other side of the bed. She peeks over to find Emma rubbing her face furiously against her pillow like she's attempting to escape from being suffocated. A whimper stirs in the night, forcing Regina to realize that this woman is probably having a nightmare, something she briefly mentioned had left since sleeping next to her.

"Emma," she sternly says in hopes to wake her.

Emma's feet jerk, her body thrashing while Regina's stomach coils about the fright and haunted memories that must be torturing her.

"Miss Swan," she snaps, thinking that will jerk her back to reality.

Except, Emma whimpers again, sniffling like she's been crying her eyes out, provoking a demonic memory to flash before Regina's eyes of her trying to escape the weight of the King.

She immediately scoots across the bed, her hand gently cradling the back of Emma's head. "Emma, wake up. Emma, it's alright, just wake up, dear," she whispers against her ear. Emma's breath stutters, gasping, her body flailing as her big eyes come back to life. "Ssshhh, you're safe now, it's alright."

"'Gina?"

"I'm here," she vows but there's no heart to her voice which makes her feel guilty all over again. Why can't she just be compassionate?

"Sorry, I-I...." Emma stammers, her eyes frantically shifting around the room to figure out where she is.

"It's alright."

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just..." she loses her train of thought, sliding across the sheets like she's expecting Regina to hold her close and chase away those demons. Emma's head is almost on her chest when she must come to her senses about exactly who is in her bed. "Sorry, I'm gonna go grab some water."

Emma bolts out of bed and is out of the room before Regina can even think of something to say. She listens as Emma creeps down the hall and bangs a body part against the baby gate. A small smile creeping along her face.