She was alone. He wouldn't tell her where they were or where they were going. Moved. So many times they moved, they had never stayed in one place for more than a month or two, maybe three if he was feeling lazy, but he was paranoid most of the time...
TW Might be triggering to some Cali stood in she shower it was 12:00pm before she could drag herself up out of bed. It was Monday so Lonnie was working again but that also meant school for some of the gang. Johnny mentioned that he might go last night on the walk back and that he didn't usually but he decided he'd try it again. She stood under the freezing water shivering as she rinsed men's body soap from her hair. She wasn't allowed have her own soaps, Lonnie said it cost to much but she also wasn't allowed use anything else but the bottle of body wash. She couldn't touch the men's shampoo that was only his to have. It made her hair really dry but she didn't care it wasn't anything new. The motel shower only had two settings. Ice hold or burning hot. She opted for cold. But as she stood with her thoughts her hand reached out and turned the dial. It took her body a minute to actually feel the burn due to the cold numbing her skin but she was used to the burn anyway. She looked down to her stomach to see multiple new and old cigarette burns that fizzled out on her skin just last night. A bruised was prominent on her cheek bone. Blue,black, green, purple. They colours of the bruise stood out against her now red skin from the water. She hit the shower off and got dressed into a pair of her dads old sweat pants that were way to big for her and a black fitted , sleeved shirt. She pulled the strings of the sweats and rolled them up at the waist. They still scrunched and over lapped at her feet. Her beet up, old, cheap runners matched the black top.
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(Imagine the sweats really baggy on her) When she left her childhood home to move in with her uncle she brought some of her mam and dads cloths with her. They didn't have many family photos within reach as her dad had broken them when they were. So the materials in her bag of cloths were the only things she had of them. She wore them more than her own. Her dads more often as all of her mama cloths were for getting dressed up. She brushed her teeth and hair leaving it wet and left the motel. She didn't go far, she sat on the outdoor cold metal stairs that lead to the motel rooms and lit a cigarette. She had taken this pack from Dallys car yesterday before they got to the DX. She knew it would be a while before she could get money to get another pack of her own and the ones she had then were running low. She felt guilty at the time but he was a dick after so that guilt was no longer with her. She couldn't lie he was attractive in an annoying, asshole, brooding way. With his deep brown eyes, shaggy brown hair and sly grin. She still found it strange that he wiped his emotions off his face so quickly when they walked into the DX. She hated that she was disappointed. As if it was criminal to be having fun with her. His laugh was contagious and his smile made his eyes squint it was so big. She lied when she said his breath was bad. He smelt so strongly of cigarettes. Cali couldn't understand why that smell was comforting to her. It shouldn't be with all she lived through. Her mom and dad smoked. Lonnie smokes and uses it against her. The smell should associate with horrid memories, tears and frequent nightmares . But it never has for some reason. There are so many things that she couldn't stand the smell of, the feel of, the taste of or the sound of because it made her feel sick remembering situations she was forced to be in and deal with. But cigarettes calmed her. Not just smoking them but the smell of them. It gave her so much comfort. So when Dally walked up behind her smelling of cigarettes and the image of his laugh and smile flashing in her mind as he poked her side, she was frightened by how much she wanted to sink into him. So instead she got mad and stormed away. Her disgust at the boy for the way he was acting test fizzled away with each though she had about him. She now felt guilty about taking the cigarettes again.
Cali was still in her thoughts if Dally when a shaky, soft voice began to talk to her. She turned around cigarette still in hand to see an old woman. " My your awfully young to be smoking no? I could tell you were young but now I'm looking at you, you look no older than 17". She smiled and walked closer. Cali smiled at the kind woman trying to think of a reply. " Oh don't worry dear I'm not giving out, just observing." The lady laughed at the panicked look on Calis face. The lady shakily sat down beside her on the step gripping the banister to help. " I can put it out if you'd like" Cali offered. " No no not at all I'm just out for some air you go about your business dear" . There was silence for a moment or so when she spoke again " What's your name dear? I'm Bessie." " I'm Cali, it's nice to meet you" Cali stuck her free hand out and Bessie happily shook it. "That's a beautiful name, Cali. Now tell me what happened your face?" She was kind but blunt. " Oh nothing. We were putting boxes into our room and one wasn't stacked properly n fell" Bessie looked in thought for a moment before she spoke " It looks very sore, it's awfully swollen. Are you sure your okay?" She saw the faint bruising on Calis knuckles. " I'm just fine" Bessie noticed Cali hadn't made eye contact since she sat down beside her. Cali could sense she was unconvinced by her answer. " I have an ice pack inside if you'd like it" Cali considered for a second , her cheek really did hurt and it was hot to the touch and was making her eye swollen to, so the thought of an ice pack brought a smile to her face and her decision was made. " Yea sure if ya got one" the older woman got up with Calis help and walked towards a room. Cali noticeably slowed her pace. Number 012. She was staying right beside her motel room, number 011. Bessie knew what was happening, she had to. She must of heard screams or cry's, maybe some doors slamming. Cali continued to walk but stopped as Bessie stood in front of her watching the dots connecting in the young girls mind. No words were spoken but looks of understanding we're shared from the both of them. Understanding for different reasons.
