Sober to death

Chapter 19

The reason he was alive had died.

Jisung was right.

He should have died.

He still has time to make up for it.

He went back home with the others.

It was hard to enter the dorms since millions of people were already outside mourning Minho.

That meant the entertainment must have already posted the news.

They just cannot seem to catch a break.

Maybe now with Minho gone they would have a never ending break.

He felt weird.
Like, his brain made sense but no sense at the same time. Everything felt tangled up and messed around in his brain and all he wanted was to sleep forever, die.

"No."

That was Minho's voice?

"Yes, it is my voice. I am here."

"Minho?"

"Yeah silly, hey."

"Are you really here?"

"I'll always be here. With you. Don't worry, I won't leave you alone. Ever."

"Oh thank God! I-"

"Hyunjin? To whom are you talking?"

Hyunjin turned around almost exited to show Minho to Felix only to realise he had disappeared.

"Ah- no one. I guess. Myself?"

The moment Felix went out of the room Minho got out of the wardrobe.

"Oh, why were you hiding-"

"Shh, only you can see me and you must not tell anyone."

"What? Why?"

"Oh Hyun... don't you remember? I am dead. You... killed me."

"Oh."

.

The funeral was not public.

It was heartbreaking.
The coffin had to be closed due to Minho's state.
Jisung was screaming.
His parents were being held upright.
Chan was breaking down.
Everyone was crying.

Hyunjin was dead.
There were no tears for him to shed.
He was just there and elsewhere at the same time.
He just wanted to go back to his room to talk with Minho.
He just couldn't stand the eerie picture of Minho smiling they had chose.
He couldn't stand the music in his ears.
The colors that felt suffocating.
The smell of the flowers.
The screams, the cries, the death.

He was gone before the burial.
Back in his room in the dirty clothes he wore during the accident which still carried Minho's blood.

"Shhh. It's okay."

"But it's not. Because clearly you are dead. I cannot cry. Everything feels suffocating and foreign and I am actually talking to someone who isn't even there."

"What if I am?"

"But you are not! You are my mind playing games to me and it hurts that I know that. It hurts that I am aware you are not here but there."

.

"What the fuck Hyunjin?"

"What?"

"You thought it was wise to just walk out of there?"

"I am sorry."

"Yet, every action of yours says you are not. Are you even and he died?"

Even I'd he felt a rush of emotions stronger than any time before he could not express in any way the pain Chan's words had just caused.

"I am going to sleep now."

He was going to try and sleep, hoping to never wake up.

.

"Don't be harsh."

"No-"

"Seriously... we are all in so much pain, Jeongin can't even get up from his bed. Seungmin won't stop crying... I am not going to mention Jisung but... imagine how he must be feeling."

"He should-"

"No Chan. Besides bearing physical injuries, as a nurse informed me, he has been traumatized."

"He was hurt?"

"The car did not only hit... he was just hit first and then Hyunjin too."

"What did the doctor say? I wasn't informed."

"That is the problem Chan, he didn't allow any of the medical staff to offer him any medical attention. "

"What are you implying Felix?"

"We do not know the extent of his injuries, we must be really careful for any signs that could..."

.

Jisung was being choked on immerse sadness and guilt.
In one moment he lost the person he was sure he would spend the rest of his life with.

He knew Hyunjin was not to blame, the careless, drank driver was but... he just had to find another person to blame and Hyunjin happened to be ideal.

But now, after his eyes have no tears left to spare he realizes he was being unfair. After all Hyunjin had actually witnessed the whole thing.
Besides being important to him as a best friend he was also the most important witness and he needed to hear him out, he needed him strong to make the driver pay for murdering Minho and the only way he could achieve that was by calmly talking to him.

"Hyunjin? I am entering your room okay? It's Ji."

He entered and saw Hyunjin tangled up in his sheets, he actually seemed more peaceful than ever.
His lips were parted, his eyes were softly closed, his brows held no tension and his cheeks seemed almost puffy and he looked so still.

So still.
He was still.
Actually now that he noticed he couldn't detect any rise and fall of his chest, a strong indication of life.

He was still because he wasn't breathing.
He was still because he wasn't-

"Oh my God! Help! Hyunjin, Hyunjin... wake up! Wake up!"

"Sung, what?"

"He's not- he's not breathing! What do we do?"

Immediately Changbin started chest compressions already feeling a few of Hyunjin's ribs break.
Just as Felixnwas ready to call for an ambulance Hyunjin opened his eyes and started breathing again.

"Oh thank God."

"Sung? What- ah!"

"Hyunjin, tell me did you take anything? Was this an overdose? An attempt?"

"Guys, what are you talking about? I was just asleep as I had told Chan and the moment my eyes opened-"

"So you've not tried-"

"No? Not anything I remember... I mean my memory is a little blurry but-"

"But? Hyunjin, what's going on?"

But Hyunjin wouldn't answer, nor move or acknowledge anything, he would only look in a distant, void way right in front of him.

"Bin... what is happening?"

"I don't know-"

"Could this be related to his injuries?"

"His what Lix?"

"A nurse told me he was also hit and his head-"

"Was he-"

"No doctor has seen him. "

"Let's get him to the hospital now. Sung you go start the car, I'll drive. Felix, find his health documents. Move fast."