Family From The Start

10

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Emma

Natasha was meant to be home 9 months ago. She told me a month after I had Tilly and she still isn't back. Tilly is now 10 months old and can say momma and dog and woof....as you can tell a dog is her favorite animal. She also can say mama. I've been showing her pictures of Natasha and talking to her about her. She now cries to see photos of her and sometimes that doesn't even work.

I've been staying at an apartment not too far from the avengers tower since staying in Natasha's room breaks my heart. Vic and Wes have been trying to convince me to move on for the last 3 months since they don't think she's gonna come back..so I've been going on dates. A few have been okay and the sex has been good I guess...but they aren't Nat.

I'm currently staying at the tower for a few says since my apartment is getting some work done. I woke up this morning to a sick baby and she has been non stop crying all day. I sigh sitting down on the bed and wiping Tilly's nose "come on sweetheart..stop crying for momma please". I stand up again and I keep rocking her.

The bedroom door opens and I turn around when I hear it shut again. Tears fill my eyes when I spot Natasha on the other side of the bed. She has a few scrapes and bruises on her face and a cut on her forehead that has been stitched up. She smiles at me cautiously before looking down at the ginger baby crying in my arms.

"You said two months Natasha.." I mutter out staying where I'm stood. She nods looking down at the floor with tears in her own eyes "I know detka..i-". I interrupt her "no you said two months..you were gone for 11!..you..missed our daughters birth..you missed her first words..h..her crawling..". "I know and I'm sorry detka..i-" she starts to say before I cut her off again.

"No! I..God I thought you werent coming back..I let my friends convince me to move on. I had sex with other people..I.. let them use me just to feel something." I sob out as I keep rocking Tilly. "Em..I'm so sorry..I wanted to come back but fury needed more intel on someone a- " she stops talking when Tilly moves from being laid down in my arms and goes quiet when she spots Nat.

The tired girl leans towards Natasha and smiles "Mama!". She wipes her nose on the back of her hand before letting Nat take her. I walk around packing mine and Tilly's things whilst I listen to her talking to our daughter "Hey malysh..hi sweet girl..your so beautiful..you have your mommas nose you do..and her smile". 

I put my coat on and I throw my bag over my shoulder. I walk over to the two and I take tilly from Natasha..which neither liked. "Detka where are you going.." Nat asks placing a hand on my arm. "I..dont know. I just need time to think..i mean..Nat I thought you weren't coming back. Do you know how that felt? Having to raise a baby alone. How alone i felt? Some days I wish I just..didn't have Matilda" I tell her starting to cry.

"You don't mean that..do you?" Nat asks with a worried look on her face. I sigh wiping my eyes "Of course I don't.. I just..needed you...and I know you warned me your an avenger b..but..I didnt think this is what I signed up for..you going away and missing important things. I need to decide whether I want..this". I walk out of the room shutting the door behind me.

I go to the living room where the elevator is and I spot Tony and pepper. They spot my tear soaked face and I mutter "Natasha's home..I uh..am gonna go stay in a hotel..". Tony gets up and shakes his head "no you can stay in a spare room.". "Are you sure?" I ask smiling at him slightly. "Yes I'm sure. Its nearly 10 and I'm not letting you go anywhere with the snot monster" he says tickling Tilly's stomach.

Tony takes us to a room and I thank him before putting Tilly down in a travel cot. She falls asleep straight away leaving me in silence. I lean over the edge of the crib and I feel her face with the back of my hand before taking her temperature with the monitor which comes out normal. I get changed into just one of Natasha's shirts and I lay in bed.

After about 2 hours of laying awake in bed trying to fall asleep  I hear my bedroom door open. I spot a glimpse of red hair in the light from the hallway and I go to speak. As soon as my mouth opens Nat shakes her head and puts a finger over her mouth. I sigh rolling over to face away from her as the cover is lifted up. I feel her climbing in behind me and her arm snakes around day waist to pull me closer to her.

Nat places a gentle kiss onto the back of my neck before whispering "I just wanted to hold you". I roll over to face her and I run my thumb over one of her many bruises on her face. I look at her face for a few seconds before starting to cry. Nat pulls me closer to her as I cry into her chest. She runs her fingers through my hair to try and calm me down. I end up crying myself to sleep in Natasha's arms.

I wake up to an empty bed and a massive headache. I sit up to look over at Tilly's crib and I notice she's gone. I get up quickly and shove on some jogging bottoms. I rush out of my room into the living area where I find nat in the kitchen making breakfast whilst Pepper, Tony, Bruce and Steve are sat with Tilly.

I let out a sigh smiling at the group sat down before walking over to Nat. "You scared the shit out of me!" I whisper shout punching her arm. "Ow-..sorry detka I just thought I'd let you sleep in" she tells me leaning over to kiss my head.  I hum "thankyou love". I feel her arm going around my waist and she puts her hand on my ass. I give her a look as she slaps it gently "Tasha..". She grins at me "Sorry..".