Beholder

Chapter 23

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 23.
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NOKWANDA.
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My eyes moved with Jason as he made sure I was settled okay in this comfortable bed of his whilst he sat on this fancy couch he has in here and at this moment I didn't know whether him sitting so far from me was a good idea or not. Did I want him staying away from me some more or did I need him holding on to me like he would never let me go. My heart obviously said get up and walk over to him, show him that you want him despite whatever he is going through and like the fool I know I am when it comes to the matters of the heart. I did get out of this bed and walked over to him but when I tried to touch him he stopped my hand before it could get to his face. I heard shattering sounds coming from the place where my heart is supposedly situated.

"Please go back in bed Nokwanda." Yes the tears filled my eyes and all I could do was nod as I did my walk of shame going back to bed. I just sat on edge and swallowed this huge lump as I blinked the tears that were threatening to fall away. "You shouldn't be here Nokwanda." His tone was stern and the lack of love or regret in his tone made the tears push out and just like that they fell on my cheeks.

"I told you I was coming back, you didn't have to come here." He continued with his sharp sword that was cutting through my heart. I just closed my eyes as the tears gushed out some more.

"Are you dying?" I asked as my teary eyes met his emotionless one. Why didn't he hold any emotion? Why he is looking at me like I don't mean anything to him. "How you gather that Nokwanda,just because I lost a little weight." His attitude just made more tears fall on my cheeks. I was literally a river that just kept on flowing and if I didn't stop these tears,I would soon drown in them.

"Stop fuckin calling me Nokwanda!" I snapped at him gritting my teeth in the process and that's when he took this huge breath and kissed his teeth. "I don't want you here Nokwanda." He confessed with absolute no sort of emotion. I kept quiet and just nodded as I stood up and just walked up  towards his wall. I turned to face him as I leaned on the wall. My tears were still flowing down. "Well I am not going any fuckin where." I crossed my arms and the shock he wore on his face just made me flare my nose. He chuckled darkly like he couldn't believe my courage to say that to his face.

"I said I don't want you here Nokwanda!" This time his tone rised up. Him calling me by my full name was not only breaking my heart but it was pissing me off to a point I snatched one of his pillows and threw it at him and when it hit his face I closed my mouth in shock when I realized what I had done. "Are you fuckin kidding me right now! Wat is jou probleem!? He yelled, his eyes darkening.

"It is you Jason, You are my fuckin problem. You fuckin begged me to let you in and the moment I do,you leave me, say some crappy ass goodbye after fuckin me the whole fuckin night. Are you fuckin kidding me!?" I yelled being hysterical at this moment as my eyes never left his.

"We only fuckin dated for a fuckin week. This is not cute!" He yelled back and shit that hurt because he was right. I had no business having such strong feelings for him.

"Fuck you, you fuckin asshole. JOU MA SE POES!" I screamed that like a little frustrated girl. I had decided that I was fuckin leaving him to die by himself since he wants to be a bitch! I wasn't even fighting him for leaving me like I didn't mean shit to him. I only even threw the Afrikaans insult so he could get how fuckin pissed off I am at him and how he is handling this whole situation. I tried to storm out of here but when I passed his way, his arm snaked around my waist pulling me to him and I fell in his chest. My breathing was high and I hated how his eyes spoke a way different story than his actions. His eyes presented to me a sad man. My face softened as I continued staring in his eyes. My erratic breathing slowly went down.

"That jou ma se poes insult wasn't needed." He said,his face still holding no emotion but I didn't say anything, my eyes stayed on his brown eyes and I allowed them to be the one that narrated  the story of a man who was scared that his world was crumbling down on him and he couldn't do anything but just watch it.