Ending the Omnipotence Paradox

Chapter 6

Their first part of the Peacebreakers mission put a lot of covert locational recon on SAD's plate, a distraction for which Kogami was grateful. The interdepartmental team that was assembled had gathered twice since that first meeting just over a month ago, and both times Akane avoided him like a deadly disease. Even going so far as to have Ginoza and an enforcer that Kogami was not familiar with, Teppei Sugo, run interference both times. He couldn't blame her; between the unexpected kiss and the fact he'd blatantly lied to her about not having any regrets, he'd be surprised if she spoke to him again any time soon.
The truth was he was still upset at himself about it, too; though, if he were being honest, he only really regretted the lie. Ko didn't make a habit of lying to himself lately, or in general, if he could help it. But he would be damned if he let Akane sacrifice herself for anything that wasn't ultimately good, especially not him. He knew he should probably apologize for not being the man she thought she knew, but looking back, he honestly didn't think he ever actually had been, so how could he possibly be that now? There was already a hatred growing inside of him even back when he killed Makishima, one that he was still dealing with the ramifications of. One that he refused to affect her with.
And while those tensions could drive him mad, he was thankful that the operation was ramping up and keeping him busy. His team had just located the Peacebreakers' off-shore base camp and they were putting the final touches on a plan to have both the CID and his department infiltrate the location to start bringing the organization to justice. All that stood between them and that attack was one last finalization meeting, one that included only his team and Akane's.
And that meeting was now.
Kogami took his time logging off of his computer on the fourteenth floor, hoping to make it to the conference room just as the meeting was beginning to avoid further confrontations with his former colleagues. As he entered one of the elevators, he decided to make a detour before joining them. Getting off on the twenty-second floor where most of the private meeting rooms were located, he quickly ducked into the restroom; bypassing the urinals and coming to a stop in front of a sink, his hands firmly on the cool vanity.
Get it together, Ko.
In his reflection, he could see faint signs of the sleepless nights he'd endured as of late and silently wished he'd grabbed a cup of coffee before heading upstairs. He quickly turned on the faucet, splashing his face a few times with the cold liquid while being careful not to get his shirt and hair too damp. He needed a pick-me-up, not to look like he'd been waterboarded.
Flipping the faucet back off, his shoulders hunched over the basin for a second, letting the water drip off as he rested his elbows on the counter. After a few deep breaths, he wiped his hands over his face just as the door to the bathroom was opening.
"You look ill," a familiar voice said to him sardonically. He looked over to see Ginoza staring at him, barely concealing what appeared to be a smug grin. Kogami straightened with a sigh, fighting off a sarcastic response.
"Good to see you too, Gino."
"Is that the sentiment we're going with nowadays, Kogami? Good?" His old friend asked, putting his hands in his pockets and raising an eyebrow in skepticism. Kogami grabbed a couple hand towels to dry off before answering.
"We're too old for these games, Ginoza," he relented, his arms crossing over his chest after discarding the soiled rags.
"One would think, yes. Though I believe your conduct the last time you spoke with Inspector Tsunemori would say otherwise," Ginoza countered. Kogami tensed at her name leaving the Enforcer's mouth, realizing again that he was far too perturbed by the proximity their jobs afforded them.
"You know, you're awfully protective of the Inspector nowadays," he pointed out ruefully. Gino smiled at the obvious insinuation in his tone, making the scowl on his face deepen.
"Well, I would say we're fairly close," the Enforcer agreed. "We have been partners for four years now. You remember what that's like."
Kogami bit down on the inside of his cheek to avoid reacting to the intentionally provoking words Ginoza had chosen; the coppery taste of blood tinging his taste buds.
"I'm glad she had you to make up for my absence," he replied, narrowed eyes betraying his forced nicety.
"I'm not sure anything could have made up for that," Gino answered pensively. His old friend watched him diligently for a moment; the weight of his gaze and tension behind his words enough to make Kogami shift uncomfortably.
"I don't know what you mean by that," he stated stubbornly.
"Don't give me that," Ginoza snapped. "I may not have known you for the last few years, but the Shinya I knew was never stupid. Obstinate and dense, perhaps, but never stupid."
"How was I dense, Ginoza? I did what I thought was best -"
"Yes, that's exactly the problem!" the Enforcer argued. "You did what you thought was best. You didn't consult her, your partner, the one you chose to leave behind. Didn't give her a second damn consideration and left us all here to pick up the pieces of the Inspector you broke."
"You have no idea what you're talking about," Kogami argued dismissively as he tried to walk past Ginoza to exit the small space.
"No, you're the one who doesn't know what I'm talking about!" Gino spat back, forcibly shoving his shoulder away from the doorway. "That woman agonized over you, Shinya! She started burning your cigarettes, even though she didn't smoke. She didn't smile for months. She went to Shion and Saiga for help with her nightmares and hallucinations. Akane wasn't the same after you left. She was haunted by you. And you think you did what was best?"
The air had gotten thicker in the room as Ginoza spoke, the realization of the words he spoke hitting Kogami like a brick wall.
"She never said -" he began slowly as he leaned back against the tiled wall, his body suddenly heavier than it was before.
"And how could she, Kogami?" Gino interrupted. "You've seen her twice since you left, both times on seemingly opposite sides of this war we call our lives."
Kogami considered what he was hearing, his mind flashing back to all of the times he'd thought about the life he'd left behind here, about her, while he was on the run.
"She's been through a lot in the last few years, Kogami. You both have. Remember that."
Without further explanation, Ginoza turned and walked out with a stoic nod. Leaving Kogami standing there, momentarily dazed by the sobering information he'd just been given.
He couldn't dwell on it for long, though, as someone else walked through the door shortly after it shut behind Ginoza - reminding him that he was in a public restroom and now late for their meeting. Hurrying out, he entered the conference room right behind his old friend, eliciting a noticeable open-mouthed stare from Akane as an unexpected, embarrassed heat rose across Kogami's neck and face.
He had no idea how in the hell he was supposed to make it through this meeting after what Gino had just told him.