The Flaw In Perfection: A Snamione Romance Fanfic

Chapter 33. Guilt

His body shook with unruly anger as the previous events that occurred came flooding into his mind, one after the next. His eyes landed on his slender fingers and he soon unknowingly had his hands covered in tears. How many men, women and children had these hands destroyed? How many families, friendships and lovers lost everything after these hands meddled with their lives? His new victim was an innocent, fair lady who did nothing but offer him love.

He never thought he'd ever feel this kind of regret since he has done worse before this. But something was wrong. Every time he tries to close his eyes, her empty, sallow face meets him. Her faint voice, her incessant cries, her quick acceptance.

This was what he was. This was everything he had planned. This was his speciality: the total annihilation of a person. He shook his head lightly hoping the series of flashing images will stop. Unluckily, the more he tried to forget them, Hermione Granger's devastated face lurked in his memory. He did it again. He destroyed another potential friendship/ally once more.

The stars blinked in a very dull manner, or so it seemed as he looked up the gradient skies. Those stars were the ones they used to wish upon when they were in the Black lake. He remembered how much he wanted to touch her hand and reassure her when Aneurin Foster insulted her like dirt. He wanted to remove every tarnish in her heart created by the dark people around her, including him.

But, he did this for Lily. He would never let anyone replace her. He could never love another aside from her. His thoughts shifted toward the kiss he and Granger shared. It was an accident, it wasn't supposed to happen anyway. He covered his mouth as silent tears crawled down his cheeks. His hair concealed his handsome visage as he finally realized what he did. What would Lily feel if she's seeing him now? How dare he use her as an excuse to hurt someone like Hermione Granger? He can almost see Lily's face twist into a sheer of disappointment and hatred towards him.

A bottle of Firewhisky can never ease his guilt even for a short time. He was stuck in his chair staring into an empty space. He wondered what would have happened if he talked to her in a calm way. He needn't to be furious and hateful like what he did.

For now, he could only wonder about the things that could be but will never be, because it never happened.

❄❄❄

It had been twenty-four hours when the Potions Professor decided to leave his rooms to fix himself for the day. It was Monday. He had to face numerous classes of petty dunderheads. For the very first time since he started teaching, he was ecstatic to go to his classroom and carry on with his lessons. Not being alone for a while saves himself to the rant of his conscience. He needed to divert his attention so he doesn't have to feel hurt by both Lily and Granger.

His normal self was what most students saw the whole day. He was cold, snarky and cruel like he used to be. He even took a great amount of points from Gryffindor house. Well, that day in particular, he had no class scheduled with the Fifth year students. He was a little relieved that he doesn't have to meet her in class today but what made him tremble a bit was her Potions Enrichment classes after her final subject with him. Will she dare try to come to him? His curiosity was slowly consuming him but he tried to control it.

His eyes roamed around his classroom as third year students started their brewing half an hour ago. Almost everyone in the class failed to brew the assigned potion perfectly when a memory of her hit his mind.

He was out for a stroll to get over his conversation with the Headmaster about that Potter. His patience was wearing thin by the minute when an interesting scene occurred just before his eyes. He quickly blended himself to the shadows to conceal his appearance as the Golden Trio entered the empty hall.