Chapter 27. Memories

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It was pointless to go to this event. She already told him everything that was needed to be said. He's only trying to put the dagger into his own heart. He wasn't there to celebrate. He wasn't there to interrupt the celebration either. But he needed to see her. He wanted to see her. Even for the very last time.

The white veil occasion was meant for the people he didn't want to be together. But did he possess any power to break them apart? Maybe, not. And even he can, he won't.

He silently walked near the garden as the ceremony had given its signal to finally commence. The celebratory air was in full splendour as two shining letters appeared near the altar. The letters were heart-rending for him especially now that he has seen the J and L completely formed by the wizard who conjured it. It seemed luck had never really favoured his side after all.

The flowers glowed majestically caparisoned, the pastel colours added a gilt brilliance to the garden. Everyone was wearing a pale claret coloured sartorial partnered with white. There were only a few people, he can tell. He quickly recognized the Hogwarts professors beaming to the crowd. Both of the nuptials' families were wiping their eyes almost every moment, they couldn't believe that their little children had grown so fast and now will soon build their own family.

The matrimonial music floated to the breeze's embrace but for him, it all sounded like some hideous death march played during the demise of a fallen warrior.

And then he saw him. He was there, all teary-eyed, hugging his three best friends who were witnesses of their love. They were congratulating them, and they couldn't even hold the smiles they kept on showing on their faces. But even if the groom was happy and excited, a slight sliver of nervousness can be seen somewhere inside him. And now this was it. He couldn't wait to call her Mrs Potter after this ceremony.

Minutes passed and the woman of the day was already there. The beautiful lady in white entered and every person sighed as they admired her glamour and elegance. She was brimming with joy same with the man standing by the altar, patiently waiting for her to join him at last.

He was taken aback by her beauty, but he knew this look of beauteousness isn't for him. It was obviously meant for someone else.

He looked away at the torturous sight.

She walked to the red carpet, slowly... slowly. She was relishing every moment. It felt like a dream. But it was the most depressing nightmare when it came to him. It was worse than seeing a dementor suck someone's soul from his vessel. It was unbearable. Forsooth unbearable.

It was after their words of promise were exchanged, he lost everything. His dreams, his hopes, his only reason for existence. As they voiced out their vows, it felt like he was given a punishment worse than death. Well, is there anything worse than death?

Petals rained down the newly-weds as the crowds cheered and congratulated them. Like the mere shadow as he was, he vanished like a puff of smoke just after the couple's departure. His eyes glinted with despair and disdain at the final scene he witnessed.

The all-knowing wind saw the lovers flee. A better home, a better life, they sought. As they ventured for the land of milk and honey, beneath the labyrinths of the river, his body was confined for a little time.

He actually went to the place where his mother used to take him on Sundays during the holidays after he left. The little forest was silent and calm as always. The confinement of the surroundings was indeed enough for him to relax.

They loved to go camping there, but now this place is only a reminder of his loss and the witness of his breakdown.

He walked down its edge, every movement he made its surface wriggle and tremble. He was slowly consumed by it, but he didn't mind. It was his discretion to be swallowed in the first place.

If you happen to pass by that silent glade, you would have thought nobody was there. His head was under it now. You can no longer see a single part of him.

He can still hear her voice. Her hoarse and maddening voice.

"I am sorry Severus. You have chosen your path and I have chosen mine."

And another... and another.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot return your affection toward me. I am in love with him. I love him. Forgive me, Severus."

"Goodbye, Mr Snape."

He was dying... he felt everything turned black, his chance of survival was decreasing. He didn't want to survive, though. He wanted to die there and now. The water was taking every living part of him, just as Lily tore his heart when she married that bastard Potter.

He had already given up, just when a mirthless voice rang to his ears.

"Come, my child. You mustn't waste your life on someone who is valueless. Come to me and let us put the world into our palms."

His mind was alert and alive again. He was awakened by a twinge on his body part and realized he was dreaming about that day again. He remembered how foolish he was to even contemplate and actually commit suicide just for a mudblood.

But he couldn't conceal his melancholy. Until her last breath, she whispered James and Harry's name. Her life. And that's not him. Never.

He can still recall the memory as if it only happened hours ago. This was his curse, isn't it? His ability to mind manipulation is driving him mad. He couldn't forget everything. It was haunting him. The doubt, the fear, it never goes away.

Another minute stirred and like the sun rising to the east, he remembered the memory of his student.

She loves me. That can't be true.

He was reeling with both livid and pitiful thoughts toward his apprentice. But no one was to blame but one person. He was the one who decided this situation to settle.

He quickly took his infamous midnight cloak and set off to the enrichment class of the student he wasn't most anxious to meet.

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