Through the pain

Dependence

I think my body screams with pain,
But I'm remaining silent.
I feel so empty every day.
Can't bear this kind of violence.

These memories do hurt me.
And you will never know
That I wasn't even sorry
Because I've lost control.

Yes, I try to keep smiling,
But it causes more pain.
I'm so tired of fighting
These fears again and again.

It's better to cry out loud
Than being silent at all.
But I will make no sound
Trying to get back self-control.

I depend on people's opinions.
Can't live without listening to them.
Stopped relying on my feelings.
I do exactly what they say.

It's annoying to be a puppet
In hands that don't obey the rules.
You know it's some kind of funny
To not be able to choose.

I wish I could turn back time
To build my another life.
But it's only left to fight
Until the day I die.