Chapter 10: What do you need?

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Wilbur POV:

Wilbur wanted to swim. He wanted to swim and forget and let his brain turn off. He wanted to be consumed by the focus required in the movements and forget how much he was hurting. Wilbur wanted to sob and cry and have no one be able to see, but he was far too scared. Far too scared of who would be there, waiting. Wilbur didn't want to be caught out alone again. Never again.

He found his way out of the bathroom, appreciating Techno's massive jumper. When your brother who is already bulkier then you also has a habit of only buying oversized hoodies, those hoodies are stunningly massive.

"Hey Wil, what can I do to help?" Techno asked softly, and Wilbur wanted to curl up under Techno's arm, protected from the world- yet at the same time the idea of touching anyone felt so sharply wrong.

"I don't know..." Wilbur mumbled, head down, hands shoved deep inside the pockets. Now that he was here, visible and not alone, he knew that he wasn't ready to swim. That would involve loosing the protectiveness of the hoodie. Wil couldn't stand the thought of that.

"Do you want something to eat?" Techno asked, and sighed slightly at Wilbur's slow shake of his head, "Do you think you should eat something anyway?"

Wilbur knew Techno was right, knew he should be eating, but he also knew that if he did try to stomach something he would end up forcing himself to throw it right back up anyway. He hated that fact, but he just couldn't stand the thought of not being perfect. It was stupid, he didn't want them to like how he looked, he didn't want them near him, but... he also simply had to be perfect.

Wilbur hated this. Hated the way his brain couldn't decide on an option with reasoning. Instead he reasoned himself into a hole where both options were wrong.

"I can't..." Wilbur mumbled, and at least Techno seemed ok with that, although clearly a little concerned.

"Ok, Techno nodded, accepting the answer, clearly not his preferred choice, but he was ok with it. That felt safe. Wilbur liked that point in space. Not the best nor worst. Just existing. An option, nothing more, nothing less.

"Wil?" Techno's voice broke through Wilbur's thought track, pulling him back to the world around him.

"Hmm?" Wilbur asked, standing awkwardly, not wanting to sit on either of the beds, but not liking the way he was standing over Techno.

"The two that hurt you, do you want to take them down? We can report them, there's enough evidence."

"No please no," Wilbur mumbled, almost flinching away from the idea as though it were a physical slap. Alarm bells rang loudly in Wilbur's head, shouted memories reminding him to never ever report people. Not for that. Not when it was Wilbur's fault for tempting them to begin with. If anything Wilbur would get in trouble and nothing would happen to them.

Words: 500

A/N: poor Wilbur :(

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