Eric Raynes, the school quarterback, has always felt it necessary to compensate for his inability to think straight with his talent to play football the way none of his teammates ever could.
So it doesn't come as a surprise that he is at the top of...
"Am I talking to myself again?" my best friend Noah questioned me rather contentiously, bringing me back to our seemingly innocent exchange I had started in the first place.
I suddenly realized that I wasn't hanging alone in the comfort of my own private room, but sitting with my best friend and the rest of our class in the school cafeteria during lunch break.
I could practically feel not only one set of solicitous eyes but at least six more aimed in my direction.
Suddenly everyone was interested in what was going on between the school golden boy and his best friend.
"Of course not." I attempted to put an end to the abrupt pugnacious interrogation, but my closest friend had other plans in mind.
I guess it had become sort of a habit of mine to space out during social exchanges lately, so his reaction was predominantly justified.
"Really, Eric? That's the best you could do? What has gotten into you lately? It's almost like you are never here with the rest of the world." he snapped at me adding fuel to the fire of something that seemed not such a big deal anyway.
Why was he even allowing himself to talk to me this way, on top of all in front of our classmates?
We were not a married couple after all.
"My parents died yesterday, Noah. Both of them. So you could show at least a little bit of compassion." I whispered angrier than I had anticipated, suddenly not in the mood to be put down by the man whom I cared for the most in this whole wicked world.
I quickly grabbed my lunch plate and exited dramatically through the back exit of the school cafeteria.
"Asshole." I muttered under my breath as I headed toward the nearest bathroom.
To be completely honest with myself, I wasn't mad that my best friend required at least a little bit of attention from his greatest pal, also known as me.
I suppose it wasn't his fault that I have been distancing myself from every possible human being for the past couple of weeks.
If anything, I was agitated with myself for keeping this perfect little facade of me having a normal life throughout the course of our friendship.
Yes, you heard that right - I was practically living a double life.
In my eyes, it was one thing to trust Noah with my life and completely another to share with him how the people responsible for my existence had been in a constant need of a syringe full with heroine.
I knew that I was probably insane for not confiding in my best friend about what my actual parents were up to since the minute I was assigned to their care, but I have this condition called low self-esteem.
But mostly trust issues.
I couldn't let anyone know that I had been practically an orphan since the minute I was born while having legal guardians at the same time.
It was embarrassing.
And even mortifying.
When you were someone like me, the popular kid who everyone looked up to and practically worshiped, you couldn't exactly share with the rest of the world that you were a literal nobody.
Everyone would have eaten me alive.
"Bad day?" a familiar voice asked behind me, reminding me that I had been staring at my reflection for the past couple of minutes in one of the school's bathroom mirrors.
What was happening to me? When did I become so soft and easily irritated? That wasn't like me at all.
"You can say that." I muttered sort of a coherent response, suddenly feeling quite cautious of my surroundings.
I didn't have the strength to identify the person who acted surprisingly emotionally generous to me, so my plan was to keep to myself until he just gave up trying to make a conversation with me.
I was obviously not in the mood for any type of social exchange, so it was for the best.
For both of us.
"I know we don't like each other, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I get it's not easy to come out and everyone does it at their own pace, but I think you would really benefit from joining my LGBT+ club."
Just as I thought that this day couldn't get any worse, I spotted my biggest rival up to date in the reflection of the musty mirror I had previously used as an emotional support.
So much for my inner peace staying intact.
"How many times?" was all I could muster before getting face to face with what I would describe as the most disgusting person I had ever seen.
It was almost like he expected such a reaction from me because my sudden invasion of his privacy didn't faze him at all.
If anything, it only made Evan more cocky.
"Speak up, love. I can't hear you." he mocked my previous penurious attempt to voice my frustrations, getting closer to me with each word of his.
Too close for my comfort if you asked me.
But I guess it was my fault for allowing him to mess up with me in the first place.
Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to give him a physical lesson, so I hoped that a verbal one would be enough to put him in his place.
Once and for all.
"How many times, Evan? How many times have I told you to leave me alone? I'm not gay. I'm not bisexual. I don't like boys. So why don't you stop bothering me?" I said in one single breath, already done with our hostile discussion.
Why was everyone out to get me all of a sudden?
First Noah, now Evan.
And why was I always the one seemingly at fault?
"Until you actually realize how deluded you have become. I mean, come on. If I can see that you are acting this way because you want to hide your true identity, then so can everyone else. Man up. Nobody cares if you have a different sexual orientation nowadays."
Like it was so easy to come out of your own comfort zone.
Not everyone owned a lot of money and had a safety cash net to fall into when things went wrong.
That was the difference between me and Evan Bass - he had the means to make mistakes and learn from them afterward while I didn't.
And yet for some reason, he felt obligated to teach me how to live my life.
Talk about irony.
"I have planted the seed. The rest is up to you." my nemesis said one last time before exiting the small space intended for basic human necessities.
Fuck my life, I muttered to myself while mentally cursing the day my mother and father conceived me.
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