Dead Inside

Chapter 3 | This was literally a crime against human nature.

October 11th, 2027

If Brixton, a small town located just outside New York, was a close definition to an amusement park during the day, throughout the night it represented more of an abandoned one.

It was truly fascinating in my opinion.

Without all the social intervention with its true nature, the small community I often imagined leaving someday was truly magnificent during the time it lacked direct sunlight.

And if I had to be honest, I actually preferred it that way.

It was easier for me to get lost in the darkness and protect myself from the prying eyes of our society, accompanied by its countless expectations.

It turns out that without the enormous pressure I was normally forced to endure, my true character tended to resurface.

A sporadic type of moment I had learned to cherish with my inner existence. 

Even if it didn't occur very often.

"What are you watching?" my latest fling suddenly asked me while taking out a cigarette from the small box stuffed in his back pocket.

The hostile smell of tobacco instantly reached my nostrils, successfully bringing me to the realms of our reality.

After what seemed like an entire day of consistent sexual activity, I eventually found myself standing in front of the enormous window near the desk I had spent a substantial amount of time lying on.

"Would you believe me if I say that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to my inner character?" I decided to avoid answering his question, and instead forwarded an inquiry myself.

"Sure, why not?" he simply answered, continuing to damage his seemingly flexible lungs.

Why was I always falling for guys who had even lower emotional intelligence than I did?

"That's what I thought." I returned even more of an effortless answer, suddenly feeling very shy, but mostly exposed.

And that wasn't because all of my clothes were piled across the room.

Once I sensed a heavy movement behind me, I instinctively attempted to turn around.

What stopped me, however, was the big arms that landed on both sides of my waist and gently strangled it.

Surprisingly, that was more than enough to make me feel seen.

"I'm sorry, okay? I just don't like getting comfortable with my hookups." he managed to explain himself only with a few short sentences, but still somehow made the situation even more intimate than before.

I guess I wasn't the only one who had fallen into a character.

"It's okay, really. I guess both of us needed stress relief. You are not obligated to answer any of my questions." I explained to him while starting to search for the location of my denim shorts.

Where were they?

"And what if I want to?" he asked me for a nice change, abruptly invading my personal space as he attacked my neck.

Not that I minded.

"Is that another invitation for casual sex or you are just starting to get comfortable with my inner personality?" I laughed at his attempt to ease his way out of a genuine conversation.

I couldn't help but wonder if there was an actual reason for his on-and-off coldness or he was just scared to let his guard down, similar to me in the past.