Dead Inside

Prologue | It's not like you didn't see it coming, you know?

October 10th, 2027

I can't tell you exactly why I was so bothered with Evan Bass - was it because he was a social outcast who refused to make any friends? Or maybe his feminine looks were the main reason for the hatred I held towards his entire existence?

Believe it or not, realizing why you loathe a specific person is not as straightforward as it sounds - especially for someone like me who clearly lacks emotional intelligence.

Yes, as unbelievable as it sounds, I'm self-aware.

Before him, I considered myself to be a relatively nice guy - I was the typical school quarterback who was more than six foot tall, had a great smile, and had a thing for stereotypical blonde girls.

Yes, I wasn't the person who would defend those mistreated by my peers, but I was not an active participant in what we consider bullying nowadays.

So when did exactly the way I handled things change?

I guess we will never know.

All I knew for the moment was that I was failing half of my school classes, and there was a great possibility for me not to graduate with the rest of my classmates. Something I was eventually afraid of happening but didn't fully acknowledge until my school counselor requested to see me in his office.

To say that I was shocked was an understatement.

I felt angry while at the same time quite mistreated - was I really that incapable of passing my studies?

Or did my teachers just didn't like me personally?

Part of me was aware that I was the only one responsible for my demise.

But for the moment I preferred to aim my anger at someone else rather than just at myself.

Why you may ask?

Because life was easier to deal with that way.

If I accepted the fact that I wasn't as special as I would have liked to think so, my whole life was eventually going to crumble.

And I couldn't let that happen, not when I was already on the verge of getting left behind those who I once called insignificant.

"This is bullshit! I refuse to hear such nonsense. Have a great day!" I yelled in response to the news I was given, clearly not in the mood to be furtherly questioned.

After what felt like a good way to relieve my stress, I aggressively closed the door of the counselor's office with the intention of not coming back anytime soon. I also voluntarily kicked the nearest trash bin in addition to my profanities, not caring in the slightest if someone was witnessing my not-so-surprising downfall.

Still, I gladly acknowledged the fact that the school bell still hasn't rung and there wasn't a single soul lingering in the school hallway.

Good.

I didn't feel like explaining the reason for my primitive behaviour to anyone nearby.

"It's not like you didn't see it coming, you know?" a quiet male voice whispered behind me, successfully putting an end to my violent anger outburst.

Only to cause another one when I realized who the owner of it was - my tedious queer frenemy, Evan Bass.

While the front coast was clear, the back one felt pretty preoccupied - even with one person only.

I quickly put a vicious smile on my face, already feeling the anger building up inside of me. I possessed the need to be extra nastier than usual.

"I don't remember who gave you to right to speak, queer." I aimed my usual type of insult at him, having the desire to end our conversation in a quick manner.