i replaced food with weed and whiskey to look like one of the thin roxicodone white girls you chase after. i dropped pounds as if i was shedding the body you debauched, the version of myself that you decided to abdicate
but the ripping of that page out of my book of memory is not nearly enough. i can't cherish my body for its beauty when all i see is everything i'm not through your perspective
why was i the one who wanted you the most and also the one girl you chose to hurt the worst? i wonder what those girls had that i didn't. i wondered if my body in high school was too fat for your liking. maybe my coily hair and my melanin would draw too much attention to the two of us together
we were too alike. stormy like the weather in the small town where you let me down, mirroring each other toxic traits in oddly specific manners and ways. but i can't accept the fact that i was the reason you decided to abuse me and chose to not stay
YOU ARE READING
mercury reaches its morning peak
Poetrylacrima. tw. highest rankings #1 in deeppoetry #1 in sadpoetry #1 in freeversepoetry #2 in blackpoet #2 in yapoetry #3 in prose #4 in spokenword third poetry collection (2023)
