4.I am sorry

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Bible

Find me any clean man i said harshly and try to control my self. I quickly lock  myself and try to release myself. Dammm i yell a loud as i could. How could i be this stupid. It must be from the juice. I dont want to kill anyone because of this again. That why i ask my man to find a man. I need someone who cant pregnant my child. I cant believe they do this again. I will kill all of them. They try to trap me with my heir

I am holding myself and try to control. I already release my self twice. But the drug is so strong. Are you okay, a soft voice as me worrily. Please, i try to hold myself. When he get closer i can smell him and i become crazy. I really dont remember what happen. I just need to release myself and i still remember how i eat him alive. When i wake up in the morning, with strong headache, i nearly curse when i see thailand superstar who are naked full of bruise in my bed. I can see blood between his leg. What have i done. The only thing i thankful is, i dont need to kill him. At first place, i want to ask my man to clean him but i really cant. So i personally clean and help him. Every time i look how he is bruised and mark make me felt guily. I am like a beast who have no mercy. I clean the blood at his collar bone.

After i make sure his team found him, me and my team start our killing spree.
I wont forgive anyone this time. After 4 days of cleaning, i finally visit the star. What i see is beyond my imagination. How could they be so cruel. I wish i can kill both of them, but i know i am no better than them. So i just listen and wait. That why i ask my man to keep looking on bright. I have the feeling he will run and hurt himself.

Even i am the most powerful guy, i never  touch average people. I know they are too weak and too fragile. Even i am known as the cruelest man i wont let my people die and i will die with him. I cant believe how my man make this mistake. I know its emergency but how could the choose the most popular one.
I dont know why, since the unfortunate day, i cant forget about him. When i heard about his situation, i become more guilty. I start to notice him everywhere.
What should we do boss, my man ask me. They are waiting for my instruction.
I look at my team. I will try to to convince him again. For time being, just pay him as much as he get now, i said. All of them just nod.

Its my third time trying to talk with him. He treat me like demon. He start shaking and yelling when i get closer. I am sure he remember me when he see me last time. Before, i notice  how his body also remember me even he refuse to look at me and after last time, i am sure he remember me. Of course he remember, he dont event drunk that night.
I take a deep breath before i open his door. Its already 5 days. I can see win getting crazy and look for him every where. Bright, i call him. I try to be as gentle i could. He quickly get up and try to run. He start screaming. Leave me .. leave me he keep yelling. I have no choice but to hug him. I am worry that he will hurt himself. Bright, i wont hurt you again, i promise i said and hug him tight. I am sorry i said.  He still strugeling but become weaker. Please calm down. I just want to talk. I wont touch you. Can we, i ask him again. Please i beg him. He start getting weak and calm. I slowly release him. With all his energy he push me. Dont touch me he yell.  Okay, i said and walk backward.  I distance myself and look at shaking body. The proof how beast i am that night.  Please, i wont hurt you. I just want to talk i said when i felt that i am far enough for him to  felt threaten. 
He look at me with red eyes. I am sorry, i was under drug that night , i try to explain my situation. I dont mean to hurt you. I am here to ask for forgiveness. I just want to make sure you are safe. I said again. I can see he start breathing slowly. I am bible, i am business man. I was druged that night. I am sorry. I will do anything for your forgiveness i said again.  He still look at me scarely. I will send you to metawin, i said. He is looking for you like crazy. I will make sure both of you safe , i said.  I really dont have anything to offer to him. No, he softly reply. I look at him and try to understand. I know both of them love each other. Dont worry, i will make sure everything will be alright i said.  No, he said louder. Okay, okay i quickly reply. Do you have place to go, i ask him. Just leave me alone he said coldly. I will, i quickly reply. I will do what ever you want , i said again. I dont want to see you again , he said. I promise, i said. What should i do for my mistake, i ask him. You will live with your sin forever. I will never forgive you he coldly said. I close my eyes. I am expecting this. But it still felt really hurt. I will, i am really sorry, i said and leave him alone. I can hear he fell down and cry his heart out.

02.10.23

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