The Rise Of The Morningstar (Eng. Version)

Chapter 35 - Dead Ends in My Mind

Chapter 35 – Dead Ends in My Mind

The entrance to the Silent City reminded me of New York. While not in a graveyard, it was also surrounded on all sides by green land. Trees stretched out in all directions, as did the snow, turning everything an indistinguishable white. Somewhere birds were singing. It was a stark contrast to the busy city we had just walked through. The Silent City was isolated enough not to bring the noise and hustle and bustle here. It was the entrance itself that made me think back to New York. It was a stone shrine carved with runes for luck, safety, and strength. Vines grew up its walls, so that many of them could barely be seen underneath. The shrine was surrounded by life-size sculptures of angels holding swords, books and chalices.

The peaceful atmosphere that this place conveyed at first sight had nothing in common with the chaos raging in my chest. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Most of the time I hadn't even lain in my bed. Instead I had slumped on the red tiles of the roof and waited for the sunrise. It was Alec's fault. He hadn't wasted any time and had wanted to leave for the Silent Brothers the day after Jace had told him about the Inquisitor's decision. A Clave loyalist through and through.

Isabelle had begged him to come with us, but he wouldn't hear of it. I still wondered why she had asked his permission in the first place. He wasn't in charge. He was nothing more than an escort.

I hadn't exchanged a word with Alec on the way here, nor had he tried to strike up a conversation with me. I didn't know if he expected a proper apology from me or if he just wanted to hate me for no reason. I was sure he hated me. At least that's how it seemed to me. Every time I felt his gaze on me, I felt the urge to turn to face him, afraid he would do something stupid like stick a dagger between my shoulder blades. I knew deep down that he would never go that far, it was extreme even for Alec. But the expression in his dark eyes told a different story. Was he still afraid that I would harm Jace? We were long past that point, and if Jace had told his Parabatai even a shred of truth, then he had to know about it.

I had hardly spoken to Jace either. A part of me waited for him to take the next step. After all, it was him who had burst into my room at night, wanting to justify his behavior in front of me. There was simply nothing to say from my side. He knew I wasn't happy about having to return to the Silent City. Every time he or Alec uttered a word about it, I'd flinched away from their conversation and moved a little further away from them. Jace must have noticed, because at some point he started whispering so that his words didn't reach my ears anymore.

I'd taken my cloak and hid my face deep in its dark hood as we marched through the city, up to and past the Gard. In fact, in Alicante, it was customary to remove hats when entering the city. Out of respect and because we were a small community, but I couldn't have cared less. I hadn't wanted to be stared at like a leper all the way again. My mood was bad enough and I could not rule out that my patience would break and I would snap at one of the onlookers.

Now we stood at the entrance and waited for one of the Brothers to pick us up. Jace had walked over to the shrine to give them a signal, although I was pretty sure they could sense our presence that way as well. I kept as far away from the shrine as Alec would allow, perched on a wide rock nearby.

Alec was heavily armed. He wore a weapon-belt with several seraph blades and daggers attached and had his bow slung on his back. He looked like he was going to war. It was ridiculous. Worse still, he never took his eyes off me, as if he expected me to get up and run at any moment. The thought was equally ridiculous, and yet it amused me a little. Where should I run to please? Everyone in Alicante knew my face by now. I would never reach the city walls undetected, in the safety of the dark maybe, but not in broad daylight.

My nerves were wrecked, fatigue tugging at my limbs, and Alec wasn't helping me feel any safer. His manner only made the whole situation worse and I grimaced as I watched him. I hadn't stepped out of line for a long time. What would a small misstep cost me? The need to hurt someone itched in my fingers. I didn't notice how I jerked to my feet from the rock, still staring at Alec. My lips parted slightly and a spiteful comment was poised on the tip of my tongue, ready to start this conflict, when suddenly the earth beneath us began to tremble. There was a sound that actually made me want to turn around and run away. A grinding of stone on stone that made my whole body shudder.