The Alpha's mate

Chapter 21

For anyone who has ever passed out, you know how terrible waking up is. It's like being in this weird daze, some where between dreamland and reality. Then when you finally pull out of it, you're hit with large amounts of confusion.

I couldn't remember a single thing waking up, but then when it came back, it hit me like a tidle wave. Choked sobs were coming from deep within my chest, and all I could do was let them. I knew that Dawson wanted to sedate me, but I faintly heard Xavier growling not to.

I didn't want to sleep anyway, it would just happen again if he did.

Finally, though, I did finally calm down, and all I could think of was that farmiliar face. If I told you or anyone, even Xavier, I knew you'd belive I was crazy, but I'm not. I saw him, I know I did.

Thinking about it makes me crazy. I wanted more information, I wish I hadn't turned away. It was pointless wishing, but if I could I would change how I reacted.

"Are you okay Rose?" Ruby ask for the billionth time today.

Xavier had to go fix something, so he left me with his mother, lacey, Emma, Ivy, and Claire. From what I've heard, Claire is adjusting well, and is now training to be Dawsons assistant. I feel proud of the girl, who's been through so much, yet can pull through.

"Yeah, Ruby, just a little dazed, that's all."

Ivy, I feel, was the only one who knew there was something truly wrong with me, not just that I passed out and was dazed. I could see her sending me worried glances, trying to see if she could read me. I wasn't going to be read though, despite how much I wanted to tell someone.

"So what are you going to do about that guy, what's his name again, oh Fish?" Claire ask.

Lacey sends her a glare, basically telling her that she shouldn't be testing to waters with me. "Nothing, as of now. I can't do anything really, so I'm just gonna figure this out peice by peice, and hopefully not die in the process." Guilt was practically dripping from my voice.

I wanted to get up and search day and night for him, but I couldn't. Despite finding out last night he was alive.

"That doesn't sound like you." Emma snorts.

"That's because it's not my decision." I retort.

"How about we not talk about the impending war?" Lacey snaps.

"How about you all leave so I can talk with my mate." A gruff voice speaks from the doorframe. Looking over I see a tired Xavier. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a mess.

I hadn't been out for that long, but when it comes to your mate, a day seems like a year.

They all leave without protest. "Are you okay?" He ask when he takes a seat next to me.

'No, no I'm not. Everything I ever built is crumpling down right in front of me. I feel like I'm going crazy, and I can't do anything about it'. Was what I wanted to say, but didn't.

"I'm okay." I mumble.

Xavier reaches over and grabs my chin, "Are you okay?" He ask again, this time looking in my eyes.

I close my eyes taking a deep breath, I didn't want to lie to him. "No, Xavier, no I'm not, but I'll be fine."

He releases my face, running his hand down my arm to my hand, sending an explosion of tingles all over me. I would never get use to that feeling, I knew I wouldn't and I didn't want to.

"It's going to be okay."

Lies, lies, lies, so many lies. I'm not a child, he can't lie to me and expect me not to know. I'm not naive. I wasn't going to say that though.