The Alpha's mate

Chapter 19

Have you ever been in so much physical pain, that you were sure that you were going to die? That's how I feel right now. My head is pounding, much faster than my erratic heartbeat. I feel like I'm going to vomit, but know I'm not because the feeling is in my chest verse my stomach. Not to mention I can't sit up or stand without getting dizzy or crying out in pain.

That's not the worst part, though. The worst part is that today was only the first day.

Okay, let me take you back to the other day. After the meeting regarding the stadegy plan that we'll use. I guess I forgot that I would also have to train for this war.

I wasn't really out of shape, I mean circle counts right.

Xavier seems to think differently though. 'How you killed before was child's play. If you enter a war like this in your condition, you'll be slaughtered.' He had said before we started.

Of course this was after the lecture about me staying out of the fight, for the most part. Which of course I argued back to.

So he made sure training was extra hard, on me.

First we had to run up a steep hill seven times. We being me, Xavier, Lacey, Ivy, Ryder, and Matthew, who really wanted to help with training.

After we ran up the hill seven, I repeat seven, times, we then ran twenty laps around the perimeter of our territory. But guess what it gets worse, that was only our warm up.

We then did five hundred pushups, then five hundred situps. We ended the wonderful day by fighting each other, though it was mostly just weak punches and kicks.

Finally, Xavier let us go, he somehow didn't break a sweat. But he didn't dismiss us before telling us that training was only going to get harder.

~~~

"Time to get up Rose." Xavier cooes.

It was nearly five o'clock, I hadn't moved since we got back from training, so about two hours.

I glare up at him. "I'd love to get up, but I can no longer feel anypart of my body." I grit, through clenched teeth.

"That's whay I've run you a bath." He says in a duh tone, rolling his eyes.

"I'll drown." I shout, throwing up my arms in emphasis, but just end up hurting myself.

"Don't worry, I'll be in there with you."

My wolf purrs at the thought of being so close to him, while I just growl in annoyance. This is all his fault, I could be eating right now, not laying here in pain.

I don't have a chance to argue with him before being scooped up in his arms. I want to say I don't enjoy this, but I do, oh so much.

He sets me on the edge of the tub, giving me a minute to strip before looking at me. Then he starts to strip, right infront of my virgin eyes. I don't think words can desribe how amazing he looks, from the waist up of course!

He pushes me foward lightly, before settling me inbetween his legs. I lean my back against his chest.

He runs his fingers through my wet hair. Without a warning he squirts shampoo into my hair and washes it out, much kinder than I thought he would be able to do.

After all the soaps out from my hair, we just sit there. I'm not sure for how long, or why, but we do just enjoying eachothers company.

I wanted so badly, to tell him how I feel with him, but I was afraid. Everyone I've ever loved has died. I couldn't lose Xavier, even if it means taking a bullet for him.

I wasn't afraid he didn't love me back, I knew he did, I was scared of what would happen when I finally admitted that I wanted to be loved. It was inevitable what would happen really started to admit my feelings. I would open up to the man who had already weaseled far enough into my heart. I hadn't wanted him anywhere near it in the begining, but the more I let him in, the more I'll get hurt.

It seemes stupid to be scared now, after I'd already fallen in love with him, and he marked me. But I hadn't admitted it to him yet, and a lot could happen very soon, so I was afraid. But like I've learned so many times before you can't cheat out fate.

"What are you thinking about?" Xavier mumbles into the soft skin of my neck.

"You." I reply, honestly.

"What about me?" He ask, turning my face so that I'm looking at him.

"Just about how much I dislike you." I reply cooly.

He just scoffs, releasing my face and going back to nuzzling his face in my neck.

"What were you like in middle school Rose?" He ask suddenly. "I mean I know highschool you were hunting, but what about before that?"

"I was...." I pause, having trouble coming up with the right word. "I was reserved, to say the least. My parents were really the only people I liked. My alpha was nice, but his son was terrible. He was always hitting on me and asking me out, it was like he couldn't take a hint. For that reason most of the girls hated me, so I spent almost every day fighting."

I hesitate, I wasn't sure if I should allow him to know the next part.

"Until one day in seventh grade, I was walking to my favorite restaurant ever. I did it all the time, so it was nothing new. Except that day my burning hatred for vampires started, a group of three vampires had tried to kill me. I should have died, I would have died, if it wasn't for a man who saved me. He killed the vampires, without even batting an eyelash.

"I bet you can guess who it was. That was how I met Fish. I called him a year later, asking if he would teach me what he knew, my parents had just been killed and I was so thirsty for revenge, he filled that hunger. I had no other attachment beside my parents, so I just cut all pack ties, even with the ones that survived. I started a new life, not as a closed off, scared girl, but as a girl who wouldn't deal with anyones shit, and never batted an eyelash at a vampire.

"Some times I wish I could just turn around and change how things were. I'd have made friends, told my parents that I'd loved them, stayed and fought when we got attacked. But most of all I'd take back the time I'd called Fish, he wouldn't have been taken, if I hadn't. I wouldn't be such a cold and detached person. Maybe I wouldn't have ran away from you, and maybe I could tell you that I love you with out debating whether or not it was right. But I did it right now, so I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

After I finish, I heave a long sigh of relief, I told him how I really feel. And when peopel say secrets hold you down, they're so damn right. My chest doesnt feel constricted anymore, and I can breathe.

"Rose." Xavier whisper into my skin.

"Listen Xavier, I don't expect you to say it back or to feel the same way, I've been a terrible mate, but I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and now that I've said it, I realize how much I need you."

"Rose." Xavier says again, stopping my rant. "You will never understand how I feel about you, how much I love you, and how much I want to give you. I would do anything for you. I love you, no matter how you feel about yourself, no matter if you believe your the coldest person in the world, you still make me feel whole."

If it's possible, I feel even better. I loved him and he love me, that's all that mattered. No war or fight could stop that now.

I turn around so quickly, I'm sure I shocked him. I stradled him and kissed him as hard as he was kissing me. It wasn't like anything I felt before.

I felt all the love and passion he had for me, I felt the need we had been feeling, and the tingles all over my body, were every where making my knees shake. There wasn't anything that could describe how I felt with him.

I felt every inch of his body, as he mine. His hands were roaming my sides, as mine were tangled in his hair. I can't feel the aches and pains on my body anymore, I feel new and alive with him.

After a few minutes, I pull back needing air, but he just countinues to place kisses all over my shoulders, neck, and chest.

Boy, do I love this man.

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