My Newest Addiction //Akitoya Fanfiction

6

"No... I think... I don't know." Toya stammered as Akito still held his hand. Akito leaned in, though he really wanted to kiss Toya's lips, he knew better. Akito planted a sweet kiss on Toya's cheek where it was bruised. "To be honest I don't know either... This just feels..." Akito cut himself off, pulling backwards from Toya and retracting his hand. What was he about to say? What did he mean? Feels like what? Akito felt his cheeks slightly blush as he shook his head.

No, he's just making this about him. He couldn't blame Toya at this point for hating him. Toya was just fucking hit by his father and Akito's thinking about himself... Akito hated that. He felt a hand sliver under his chin, bringing his head to meet Toya's gaze. "So right?" Toya whispered. Akito was taken back by Toya's words as the two kissed each other. It was quick kiss, nothing but a mere peck, but... It sent shivers down Akito's spine.

"How is it... That you, someone who hates me. Someone who I... Fuck I don't know. You just get me more than anyone else... It doesn't make any fucking sense..." Akito admitted. Toya wrapped his arms around Akito. "I... Don't think that I hate you." Toya said, his body trembling. Akito never thought he'd ever hear those words. "What..?" Akito was surprised. Really... But, maybe he was a little... Relieved. "To be honest... I just wanted to be nothing like my father..." Toya begins, pausing for a moment.

Akito finds his hand rubbing circles around Toya's back. He hoped it did something to soothe Toya, at least more than his words could. Akito wasn't sure what to really say, he just knew he wanted Toya to continue. He didn't know why he cared so much, and if he were honest, he wished he didn't. It'd be easier to just go back to hating Toya. But... That's not what Akito's heart wanted him to do. Maybe Akito was done half-assing his way through life... Maybe... Just maybe he had found a purpose in Toya.

"You see I just... Never really knew you... I only knew what everyone said about you." Toya explained, alarm bells going off in Akito's head. "...My father... He's a terrible alcoholic. And you..." Toya frowned, pulling out of the comforting hug to look Akito in the eyes. Akito saw that Toya had a somber look on his face. Akito understood what Toya was trying to say. Though, he had to admit it stung to be compared to Toya's abusive father. "Hey, it's alright... I get what-" Akito was cut off.

"No..." Toya uttered, laying his forehead against Akito's and closing his eyes to take a deep breath. "You are nothing... Like him. Though, I know you dislike me... I don't know, I just... Even when I was supposed to hate you, I felt bad..." Toya chuckled sadly. "Felt bad? What for me?" Akito was at a loss for words. Toya looked into Akito's eyes, his gaze genuine and true. "I hated it. I hated seeing you tip over the edge and drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes... It was..." Toya paused to take a quick breath before continuing.

"I don't know if it was out of resentment against my father's addictions, or if it were actual concern for your well-being. Either way it was selfish..." Toya concluded. Akito shook his head, he felt a little emotional. He wondered just how long Toya had to hold everything in. Akito knew on some level how Toya felt, in Akito's family... It didn't matter. Akito felt that it'd be inappropriate to bring up his own self, even if the mention of an abusive familial relationship reminded Akito of his own.

"Honestly... I don't know what to say." Akito said with a nervous laugh. Toya's gaze didn't move, his genuine nature shining through. Akito took Toya's unchanging eyes as a sign of support. Hesitantly in his head, but still... "I guess... I hated you, because I hated everyone. And... Everyone seemed to like you. Then again at the time it seemed we had nothing in common, and I saw you as an arrogant asshole." Akito huffed, feeling embarrassed for ever thinking such a thing.

"Turns out, you're just a guy who's just like me... I guess in all reality, that's why I hated you because I... Hate myself." Akito admitted, looking to the side. Akito couldn't see Toya's face, and if Akito were honest, he didn't want to. He was afraid Toya would be angry or disappointed, but the worst of all... He feared that Toya would be unaffected. He didn't know, and frankly, he didn't want to. A warm hand on his cheek guided his gaze back to Toya, who looked deeply saddened.

"Ah, Shit... Did I make this worse..?" Akito whispered to himself, though him and Toya were close enough at this point that Toya could hear him. Toya went silent for a moment, his hand slipping off Akito's cheek. Akito was unable to look away again. A brutal silence, Akito found himself picking himself apart from the inside out internally. Toya finally broke the silence, interrupting Akito's self-deprecating thoughts. "Can I... Kiss you?" Toya asked.

Akito's cheeks were dusted with a shade of pink. "Since when do you need to ask..?" Akito replied, his hand jumping to cover his flushed face. He had to admit, it did feel nice to be asked. "Akito, I want to kiss you. Can I? I want to do this right this time." Toya said softly, leaving no room for judgment. Akito finally got it. This time... If Akito agreed. It would mean recognizing both of their feelings. Akito felt his heart race, and he relaxed his body. Time felt as if it were moving in slow motion, only Toya and Akito mattered in this moment.

Akito nodded his head, his gaze glued to Toya's. He felt Toya slowly close the distance between the two, leaning in. Akito held himself up on his elbows, backed by the singular stair. They were thicker stairs than most. Akito felt the rustle of his clothing as Toya drew near. His heart pounded in his ears, so loud he was sure Toya could hear it too. He felt warm as Toya's right hand found the back of Akito's hair. Pulling him ever so gently. He saw as Toya's beautiful silver eyes came to a close, before closing his own.

That's when, they connected. They didn't just connect physically this time. They finally understood each other. This kiss... Was one like no other they had ever done before. Neither of them were hoping to gain from it, neither were seeking pleasure, rather seeking each other. A beautiful combination, their racing hearts intermingled into one. A kiss where nothing else in the world seemed to matter. It was just the two of them, and their emotions. A true love's kiss.