The Phantom's Admirer By: K.C.M

Chapter 14: The Confusion of Love

I woke up and found that my head was splitting in half and the drugs had no affect on my memory at all. My first thought was it was a dream, then everything from that night came flooding back to me and I instinctively shot up. It was much to real to be a dream. I looked around and found the Phantom was no where in sight. Then I realized that my wrist had been untied. At least he had the decency to unbind me. "Hello." The Phantom called out to me. He appeared as usual with no trace of alcohol in his system. No evidence that anything happened actually. He was just playing dumb though. The Phantom stared at me as if he was trying to figure out if I remembered anything or not. My face started to heat up and I knew I was blushing. How could I not?

"Did you sleep well?" He asked. I replied a frank no and he went away.

The day passed by slowly and I had too much time on my hands with no one to talk with. I had not seen the Phantom since that morning and I was both lonely and relieved. It was rather awkward to be around him after all.

After hours of not seeing anyone, I was just about ready to scream when I heard footsteps. "Erik?" I called out. There was no reply and the footsteps stopped. "Erik, is that you?" I tried again. It wasn't like many people came here.

As I was just about to start walking towards the sounds I got that eerie feeling that someone is watching you, stalking you. I froze and tried to listen for anything. Waiting on edge, I jumped when the Phantom tapped me on the shoulder. He laughed and asked, "Did I scare you?" I spun around to face him and he was beaming. "Good Lord, Erik! Don't scare me like that!" He only started to show me a most charming smile. I slightly recoiled when he tried to touch my arm. "What's wrong?" He asked. I looked at him and shook my head. "Nothing." Then I turned to leave and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "What are you-"

"You remember last night don't you?"

I sighed and nodded my head. He tried to pull me closer but I pushed back. "Get off." I said. He simply put his chin on my shoulder. It was evident that he wasn't going to release the impossible grip. "What's wrong with me?" He whispered in my ear. There was a trace of sadness in his voice and I could see why, no one loved him.

"I told you, I don't love anyone. Not to mention you threatened to make me love you in your fit of drunk rage." The Phantom didn't answer. He didn't do anything at all, just held me in his arms.

He put his lips to my neck and said, "Why can't you love though? Why can't anyone love me? That's my real question."

"I don't know. Maybe you intimidate them, frighten them, or they simply despise you. I have no idea."

"What about you?"

"Erik, it's just..."

"Just what?" He asked. How do you explain to someone that you disgust them? Or that they make you upset by being in the room.

"Complicated." I finally said. He slowly turned me around and I looked straight in his eyes. They were sad, very, very sad. They always were and always would be, for he had nothing to be happy about. He let go of me and bowed low to the ground. "What are you-" I tried to ask, but he interrupted me by putting his finger over my mouth. "We never got to dance at the ball. So, Valentina Lafleure, would you like to dance with me."

"I wonder who's fault that could be." He took my hand in his own and wrapped the other around my waist. There was no refusing now. He waltzed with me slowly and I began to feel the space between us closing. "What's wrong song bird?" He asked when we were close enough that he could lean down to my ear. "Nothing." I said. He shook his head and whispered, "You aren't even comfortable with me this close anymore are you?"

"Not really." He only chuckled and assured me that I was safe. The silence began to grow thick and heavy, so the Phantom began to sing lightly in my ear. I knew the song and began to sing along very quietly. The sound was sweet and smooth as the music flowed together in a near perfect harmony. The harmony was broken by the crack of my voice. "What's wrong?" He asked. The Phantom looked in my eyes and then around us as if trying to see if I saw something. "What's wrong?" He asked again. "I'm sorry," I said while wiping my face off. "That was a song my mother used to sing. It's one of the few things I remember about her."

"Funny. My mother used to sing it too. Though she never sang it to me, I just listened to her from across the room. She refused to sing anything to me."

"I'm sorry." I said. We stared at each other for a minute before the Phantom broke the silence. "Might I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"A different one."

"Alright." I laughed.

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"I... It's just... I'm sorry, but I don't know."

I broke away from his piercing gaze and his light grip. He shook his head and asked, "Why do you do this, Valentina?"

"Do what?"

"Play with me unknowingly. You let me think that you may be giving me your heart, then you snatch it back. I've seen you do it to Alexandre as well. I can see you don't do it on purpose, you're not that cruel, but it still happens and it still hurts."

"No I-"

"Yes you do! I don't know why, but you do!"

"Well maybe I don't want to fall in love! Has anyone thought of that? Perhaps, I don't want two men fighting over me, or maybe it's just that I don't want to be in love with two men! Maybe I just try to stop myself from falling for you."

"Don't you think I tried that with you! Do you think that I wanted to be in love with you? I didn't because I wanted to have only Christine! Love hits harder than a fist, Valentina, so stop denying it and tell me the truth if you love me or not!" He came very close to my face and we just looked at each other with serious expressions. I tried to think of what he said, and realized what he meant. Love does hit harder than a fist and I was denying it. While I was contemplating what he said, the Phantom brushed the hair out of my face and caressed my cheek. "Will you give me an answer?" He asked. I was still trying to figure out what my feelings were when he tried to kiss me. I pushed him back and ran off. There was so many thoughts going through my head and I was so confused. By the time I looked behind me, the Phantom had left. I probably upset him and I'm sorry for that, but I just couldn't do anything at that moment. My heart was pounding so hard I couldn't hear and I sat down trying to calm myself. "What am I going to do with you, Erik?" I asked to the silence that laid all around me.