Going The Distance

Chapter Thirteen - Flashlight

I liked him too, maybe it was even more than that. The last two weeks had been a whirlwind of craziness, and being with him, well nothing beat it. I had hoped he liked me with everything I had inside of me.

And then Daniel and his stupid disgusting secret had presented itself to me as if by fate to test me. I couldn't do that to Jackson, I couldn't tell him his own cousin had deceived him. I couldn't be the one to break that to him, but I also couldn't keep it a secret. There was no way to win without him hating me in the long run. Be the messenger, or the liar... my options were limited.

But now, I couldn't be with him, not with this giant lie hanging over my head. I had to leave, go home, or go somewhere else where I couldn't mess things up. Anywhere but be here.

I pulled my suitcase from the closet and began to pack things through a veil of tears. In that crazy whirlwind two weeks I had managed to fall in love and fuck things up, it was a goddamn record. I pushed the suitcase off the bed in angry and sat down on my bed. Despite it all, I didn't really want to leave, I finally felt like I was home, like I was where I belonged.

The situation was impossible, and no matter how I looked at it, someone was going to end up hurt. It just made more sense if that person was me.

"Amber." Jackson murmured from outside my door way, breaking my thoughts. "Can I come in?"

"No." I replied softly, the last thing I need was him to distract me, especially when just looking at him melted my insides. Ever since that kiss, I'd been almost unable to think straight. Now I knew he liked me too, well it was a train crash just waiting to happen.

"You're painting me." He questioned.

Shit.

"Yes. You have a nice face." I replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Do you like me too?" He asked. I stayed silent, I couldn't lie. Not anymore, my lie threshold was already overflowing. I knew my silence served the purpose of answering Jackson's question with words. He opened the door, but before he could say anything he looked down at the suitcase. His face dropped and he pointed.

"What the hell are you doing Amber?"

"I'm going home. I'm leaving." I said finally finding my voice again.

"What? Why?" he stepped forward and closed the door behind him, not that it mattered, we were still the only ones home.

"This was a mistake. Moving here was a mistake. I mess things up no matter where I am."

I stood up and walked over to the dressing table. One by one I picked up my toiletries and placed them inside a small makeup bag, I walked back over to my suitcase and put them inside. I hoped he'd give up and walk away but when I looked up, Jackson was still standing there.

"Running away doesn't fix things."

"It worked here for a little while Jackson." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"You weren't running away when you came here Amber. You were starting again, you were coming home." He said exasperated. "If you leave in the middle of the night, without even having an adult conversation about it, well that's running."

"It's all technicalities Jackson."

"I'm sorry I kissed you." He mumbled. "I'm sorry if I confused you... It was wrong of me."

He was taking the kiss he'd already taken back again? I scoffed and walked over to the closet. "Just go Jackson."

"Talk to me dammit!" He raised his voice, and it caught me off guard, enough to break my walls and explode.