A Melody We Were Never Supposed To Hear

Good 4 U

Olivia Rodrigo

Some lyrics will be changed to fit the situation 

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Dazai POV

The Agency members slowly filtered into the office as the early morning light shone down, casting a golden hue over all them. In moments like these I thought that this must have been what Odasaku had meant about living in the light. All of them had smiles dancing across their lips as laughter cascaded through the air. It was a perfect morning without the heavy burden of a darker world tainting everything that they did. For a moment I thought about joining in, seeing if the lie curved on my lips could become a little less of a dishonesty and more of truth as their's all seemed to be, but before I could even will my body to move, an irritable buzzing sounded from my coat pocket. 

Fishing the phone out of my pocket, I felt the dread coil around my heart, telling me not to answer, not to look. But I have never really been one for listening. Flipping the phone open with a little more force than was strictly necessary, I brought the phone to my ear and stiffened up almost immediately at the voice on the other end.

"Dazai," they greeted, "I'm surprised that you answered."

"Ango," the words slipped from my mouth as little more than a whisper. Even after hearing the man talk to me, after seeing him in person those few times this year, the sound of his voice still felt like acid against my skin, burning me until there was nothing left. "Why," I breathed, "why are you calling?"

"I know that you already know the answer to that," he responded, disapproval lacing his every word.

I ran a hand through my hair and found it shaking as I did. I could feel eyes trained on my figure, each with their own considering gaze. It felt like they could see right through me. Standing up from my desk, I walked into the conference room and ignored the questioning looks coming from everyone else. It wasn't there business. 

Taking in a deep breath, I pressed the phone back up to my ear. "Well if I already know the question than surely you already know the answer," I told the man on the other end of the line, keeping my voice as even as I could.

"Dazai-"

"No." My voice was firm, more anger than I meant to show leaking into it. "I don't want to see you then."

I could hear a sigh coming from the other end of the line. "The pair of us arguing like this, this isn't what he would have wanted."

A bitter laugh exasperated my mouth, something so different from the kind ones that I hear earlier that it didn't feel like it belonged. "Well he's not here to decide that for himself, now is he?" I asked, each word a heavy blow, a poison sinking into his soul and mine.

The voice on the other end of the line was soft when it finally responded, hurt. "...That's not-"

"Don't you dare say that's not fair," I snarled.

"Friday, after work," Ango said, his voice more defeated than I had heard it in a long time now. A soft beeping sound followed his words as if trying to prove a point.

Running a hand over my face, I put my phone into my picket before my anger got the better of me and I threw it across the room. Everything felt like too much and I didn't know how to stop it, I was never taught how to be human, or even the cheap imitation of one.

By the time that I walked back into the main office area, a cheery smile was already plastered onto my face, even as the concerned looks from the detectives around me contrasted horribly.