PENUMBRA // Tamaki Amajiki x Reader Royal AU

Chapter 20

Fortunately, Tamaki passed out in my direction so I could catch him before using magic to float him into his bed. The lack of food and overwhelming emotions probably did it so I figured my next step would be to try to get him to eat without waiting until just before he starved like the king did.

Unsure of when he would wake up, I decided it best to leave him to rest, waking up with me there might not have helped him.

The next morning though, I was back there like clockwork, ready to confront whatever struggles he faced that day. He was standing at his window this time, clearly enjoying the view without it being obscured by thick rungs of iron.

"Good morning, Tamaki." I joined him by the window, "Are you feeling better today? You passed out yesterday you know?"

"Good morning... Y/N," he was quieter than yesterday but nothing alarming, "...Sorry about that." He looked away ashamed.

"No do not be sorry, it is understandable that you passed out, if I am being honest I cannot believe you never passed out before, what with you living off such a small diet." I braced myself for his reaction, "Speaking of which, I want you to try something, you see with you getting such low amounts of food and most of that consisting of bread, cheese and ham, you are not getting the correct nutrition and that can actually damage your head so if I am going to help you, you need to be in the correct frame of mind. So with that being said..."

I held out my hand and showed the blueberries underneath. The prince automatically froze so I withdrew my hand but did not close it, "You do not have to eat al of them, for today just one will do." He still did not move, "If it will put you at ease I can leave the room."

"Please... don't make me do that again." He was whispering again, "I can't do that again."

I stepped back and put my hands up in surrender, "You do not have to do anything you do not want for now but at some point you are going to have to eat. And I really, really do not want to have to force you."

Tamaki started edging backwards away from me, "L-last time... you let me..." Now I knew what it was about. He was still frightened of me for nearly letting him suffocate, I had apologised but clearly that was not enough, I needed to show him I would not make the same mistake twice, "What if... I use sorcery to pin you against the wall, that way your... mutation? Probably cannot harm you... though if it does, I will be right outside, so just scream and I will come running."

"...No." he still was not satisfied. I could only think of one other peaceful, "What if I... accelerated the process?"

He stared at me blankly. "To prevent you from... dying of suffocation, last time I sped up your body clock everywhere but your lungs, so you are slightly older now than you should be. That is really my issue with doing it; I do not know how long your body will live so I would rather not shorten your lifespan even if it is not by much. I could do it again, though, speed your whole metabolism up so the time spent with the ... defect? Plaguing you will be significantly shorter."

For a while we stood there in silence, Tamaki deep in thought, or maybe he was not thinking about anything, maybe he was trying to not think about the  still-raw memory of nearly suffocating.

"... I just can't." Sitting on the bed, he dropped his shoulders resignedly. I stared at him with pity and sorrow; this would not be the last time I asked, I was not lying when I said I really did not want to force him to eat again.

Dropping the blueberries on the window sill, I cautiously neared the prince and stood by one of the four posters of his bed, "Let us change the subject, shall we? Why was there a servant in your room yesterday, he was not bringing you food, I thought no one ever came to see you?"

The prince turned away from me but still maintained conversation, "H-how did you know about that?" I forgot that he did not see me before I left for the king's library, he still did not know about me turning invisible sometimes, I opted not to tell him, I did not want anyone to know until I figured out what was going on with me, "I visited just before he got there, then left as I heard him coming."

Nodding, Tamaki turned to face me but still would not look at me, "He came to tell me about... something." He picked at the bed sheets, "The king said I might as well know... that there could be some changes that could affect me and if he needed me to act normal in the future for whatever he wanted me to do..."

"It is okay, go on"

"He said it would be best if I did as he ask because there may come a time when.. he will finally have an excuse to ...dispose of me."

"He said what?!" I gripped the poster harder and my hair started to rise a little as my magic came out with anger. It all made sense though. If there really was a war coming that was the perfect excuse to explain his son's death, no one would ask questions. Nevertheless I was still outraged that king Amijiki would say that about his own son, "I am telling you Tamaki, if I did not have you to worry about, I would be with him in a second giving him a taste of his own medicine."

"... but why worry yourself with me, just let them... dispose of me." He glanced up at me then sighed, "It's better this way... I'm sorry."

I could not believe we were going though this all again, did that big speech I gave yesterday mean nothing? When was he going to get it in his head that he did not deserve to die? But that was just it was it not? It was his own mind stopping him from making any progress, something in his head I did not understand, something I could not fix with a swish of my wrist. It would do me good to keep reminding myself of that fact. And it would do him good to keep reminding him he did not deserve this life.

"You do not need to be sorry for existing, it is your father who should be sorry for making you this way with his evil ways of raising you." I took my hand off the poster and placed it firmly on his shoulder, "You may not see it now, but I promise one day you will."

Shrugging my hand off he faintly cried, "The king is not evil.." This confused me, I thought the prince would agree with my statement, "but what about locking you away all your life? Is that not evil?"

"The king is a good man and any choice he makes is well justified and made with the people of the Amijiki kingdom in mind." I was completely astonished at his small outburst. "...how dare you call him evil."

Not really sure how to tackle this unexpected development, I simply went along with it and agreed with him, "Ookay... I sincerely apologise for... insulting his majesty the king, I will never do such a thing again. I see now that he is no such monster, only a kind-hearted soul who always puts his people first." I had never cringed at myself so much in my life.

"Good... don't let it happen again." This authoritative tone from coming from such a pathetic man was to say the least, dismaying. It was not nearly lunch time yet but I needed to head out and start fresh in the afternoon, "Well I must be leaving now, I have business elsewhere."

Finally Tamaki did not appear to be angry anymore, "Will you be back later?"

We both gave each other a small smile, "Of course I will."

With that I got out of there, suddenly being in a large open forest made me realise how small the tower was beginning to feel. It would have been better if the prince's room was larger or there was an open space to work in. Nevertheless, I spent the rest of my morning thinking about why in the world Tamaki does not hate the king.