another day (Bucky xreader)

Chapter 34

Y/n pov

    After everything with Rumlow I ended up going to my room. I sat in the corner of my room, knees to my chest, and hands on my head. My hands are griping my hair and my pounding head. Flashes of people, Dr.s, playing in a backyard, dancers. It's all to much, there's to much. I can't handle this. 

    I end up letting out a scream, I'm starting to shake uncontrollably. I "stop Stop STOP!" I plead. Korbin, Rumlow, Red Skull, Pierce. They're all talking all yelling. "Kill" "your nothing" "A MONSTER!" "SHUT UP!!!" I scream. "wiper her" "kill him" "no, please stop, please." I say between sobs. 

Flash back

    I'm running with a boy through different types of hallways made out of concrete. We're gripping each others hands so tight I might break it. The boy is falling behind and tripping over his feet. I look behind me and see guards chasing me and the kid. I pull out a gun and start shooting at them. Eventually we run into a dead end. They all start to corner us. 

    "Don't shoot." I hear Red Skull say. I tell the boy to close his eye's and I start to kill everyone. Adrenaline running through my veins. Once there all dead I fall to my knees out of breath. I'm covered in blood and sweat. Red Skull walks up to me and lifts up my chin. "Good job my pet, but your actions have consequences." I look behind me and see two men grab the boy. He starts to kick and scream. Then it ends.

    Then I'm in a kitchen I'm standing front of a little girl wearing a pink night gound, it looks like it's made silk. Then I bring the gun up and pull the trigger. Again it switches. 

    I'm sitting on a roof top with a boy my age, it's night time and it's snowing. "I Love you." He says then we kiss. 

    Then I'm in a glass tube. I put my hand to the glass then I feel cold rush over my body. 

End of flash back

    Different flashes consume my head all night long. Some bad some seem happy and some are terrifying. I end up going to the shower with clothes and all and make the water go as cold as it could go. I sit there sobbing letting the freezing water wash over my body. My skin starts to turn purple and there's steam coming off of my body. I ended up staying there all night not moving an inch. 

Bucky pov

    I locked myself in my room. I heard both Y/n's screams and my victims screams. My head is pounding and I keep getting flashes of my victims and my time in HYDRA. One after the other. "I don't want to go back! I don't want to go back! I want to remember!" I yell holding my head. 

Flash back

    It's my first time in the chair, I feel dread wash over me and I feel scared. I've never been this scared in my entire life. "We will start the process." I hear the one dr. say. I hear a whirling noise then the head peace comes over my head. I let out a blood curtailing scream. "STOPP!! PLEASE!!! STOP!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs. 

    Suddenly I'm on the side of a road, holding a man by the hair. We are against a car and I can't help but feel like I know this man. "Sargent Barnes?" He whispers. I froze at this. It's like a little bit of life got shoved into my body. I look up to the Red Soldier and she gives me a nod. She never talked much and when she did her voice was low and hoarsish. Then I killed him.

    I'm at a fair and Steve is there, he's small and skinny. We go to ride on the Cyclone, once the first drop hits, Steves entire face turns green. Then where standing infront of a grave together. It's Sarahs grave, Steve's mom. Again it switches.

    This time I'm falling off of the train. It goes black then I wake up, surrounded by snow. Again black. I'm in and out of conscious. Then I'm being dragged and I see most of my arm has been torn off. I feel sick. "steve." I barely get out. He came to save me.

    I'm hanging by my wrists. I look to my left and see Y/n, she's unconscious and has blood all over her. Then I look over and see Korbin untying her and letting her fall to the floor. "Don't hurt her. It was my fault." I plead. My voice is hoarsish and worn out. "Learn your place boy!" He hisses. 

    I'm sitting in my cell and I see Y/n being dragged. She looks broken, hurt, and lost. The two guards carrying her throw her into her cell, and close it. Normally she has 4 or 5 guards, but 2? I look at her and she's just staring out into space. She has blood all over her, but it's not hers. She has streak marks down her face and her hair is sticking to her. Her eye's are red and puffy. "Y/n? What happened? Are you ok?" I ask worried. She doesn't answer and just sits there staring.

    Then I'm being escorted, we walk into a room where there are tubes. I counted 12. They throw me in one, I try to get out by banging but it doesn't work. As I'm banging I give up. It's no use. Steve is dead and Y/n is gone. So I just give up. 

End of flash back

    Once the morning comes I'm still in my room. The voices and memory's have settled down a little, but my head is pounding. I look at the clock that reads 11:32 a.m. I don't want to leave. I can't hurt anyone as long as I stay in here. I just have to lock myself in. I can't let him out, I can't let him take control.

  I hope that you guys liked this chapter I know that there where a lot of flashbacks so I hope you guys don't mind. Anyway when Bucky says "him" he is referring to the Winter Soldier.