Dirty Little Secret

twenty-nine | told you so

Lucas

I throw the half-full beer bottle at the brick wall just as someone steps onto the patio. I tug tightly at the roots of my hair as tears stream down my cheeks like a rapid river.

"Oh, sweetie." My head turns at the sound of my mom's voice.

"Mom..." My voice cracks and she opens her arms while stepping towards me. I collapse in her embrace and she falls to the patio sofa, taking me with her.

"You didn't stop seeing her, did you?" Mom asks quietly and all I can do is shake my head. "Love hurts, baby." She rubs my back. She rocks from side to side, comforting me until I have no tears left to cry. When I finally pull away, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "There's something I've never told you, but I think now would be a good time."

I stare at her, waiting for her to continue. "I love your father, very much, but there was a time when I didn't." She starts, taking hold of my hand. "I loved someone before him. Someone very close to your dad and me." She looks down for a moment. "His name was Jackson."

My brows furrow. "Dad's best friend?"

Mom nods. "Jack and I had dated all throughout college before he passed away." I hear her choke up. "And losing him was the hardest thing I've gone through, but your dad was there. Jack had made your dad promise that he'd take care of me, and he did. I never thought I'd love again, but as the years passed, I proved myself wrong." She squeezes my hand. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's okay. You'll be okay. You'll heal. You'll forgive and you'll forget. You'll love someone else someday. Someone who deserves who. Someone who will treat you right, stand beside you, and love you. It may not seem like it right now, but there is someone out there for you. You just have to trust that she'll come whenever it's time for her to come."

I purse my lips together as more tears fall from my eyes. "And she'll appreciate you. And she'll care for you. And she won't be your brother's girlfriend."

"Please don't tell me you told me so," I beg. "I can't handle that right now."

"I wasn't going to." Mom reaches up and cups my cheek, wiping my tears with the pad of her thumb. "Just promise me something?" I nod. "Tell your brother. He deserves to know. He deserves to be able to love someone that loves him back and will be that support he's going to need."

I look down at the concrete and nod. "I'll tell him," I whisper.

"Okay."

"I want you to talk to Riley too." She says and my brows furrow. "Because I know what it's like to never get to say goodbye, to never have closure. And trust me, sweetie, you're going to need closure. So please, take the time you need, and then talk to her when you're ready." I nod again and she smiles softly. "I bought ingredients to make brownies. We can watch any movie you want."

A rom-com and baking brownies sound absolutely amazing right now. I should probably stay away from 10 Things I Hate About You but I'm not very good at doing that, so I watch it anyways.

"Heath Ledger was a fine-lookin' man." Mama drawls as she cracks open an egg.

"Mom!" I laugh.

She just smiles and shrugs. "Such a shame he died." She sighs. "He was a beaut."

I swat her arm with a handtowel and she gasps. "You are married." I point at her.

"Oh please, your father drools over Anne Hathaway all the time!" She pinches my arm.

"He'd be stupid not to."

Mom tilts her head to the side. "She is gorgeous." She chuckles. "We all have celebrity crushes." She raises a light eyebrow. "Who is yours?"