Dirty Little Secret

two | we're fine

Riley

I stumble out of Gabe's bedroom and slide on my sandals.

The door opens at the end of the hall and Lucas steps out.

I freeze. And he freezes.

"Whatcha doing?" I finally ask, my voice hoarse.

I tug my top down, covering my stomach as I wrap my arms around myself.

Lucas's gaze drops to my arms and he shakes his head. "Getting a Monster."

"At midnight?"

He nods. "They don't affect me. I'm working on an assignment though."

"Oh." I nod. I hate how quiet and weak my voice sounds. "I should go."

I go to step past Lucas but he grabs my arm. I slightly wince, but do my best to hide it. "Wait. Can we talk?"

"Um..." I glance back at Gabe's door. "Sure."

Lucas leads me down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he flips on the light. I take a seat on one of the barstools and pull my sleeves over my hands.

A chill settles in the air, and I'm not sure if it's because of the air conditioning or because of how Lucas is looking at me.

His gaze is serious. His jaw is set. I can't read him, and it's making me nervous.

I go to speak, but Lucas beats me to it. "Are you scared of me?"

I'm taken by surprise by the question. "Um... No."

"Well, you sure act like it."

"I mean, don't get me wrong." I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "You can be scary, 'cause you're so big and-" I close my eyes before opening them again. "Shit, um. I don't mean it like that, but you probably didn't think that anyways. Shit. Um. No. No, I'm not scared of you." Amusement flickers in his eyes, but his expression remains stoic. "Why are you asking me this?"

Lucas shrugs. "You've been dating my brother for like two years now, you practically live here, yet whenever the two of us are in a room together it's awkward as hell. I guess I'm just trying to figure out why."

Oh, there's a super easy explanation for that, but I can't tell you.

"I didn't really think you liked me, to be honest." I chuckle awkwardly. "You kind of always have the same expression though, so I can't get a read on you."

His eyes soften. "I like you plenty."

"You never talk to me much either. Our conversations are always one-sided." I tuck a strand of hair behind each ear.

"Don't take it personally. I don't talk much to anyone."

This is true, I hardly ever see him say more than a few words to most people. But after two years you'd think we'd be able to keep a conversation going.

Lucas is right. It's awkward as hell between us.

Part of that is because it's hard to face him when his brother puts on a show in front of him but treats me entirely differently behind closed doors.

Or maybe Lucas does know, and it's not just a show. Maybe Gabe is bipolar, or something. Maybe Lucas does the same thing to women as his brother does to me. Maybe that's why it's awkward.

The other part is because despite those fears, every time I see Lucas, desire pools in my belly. I'm not sure if I'm harboring a hard-core crush, or if I'm just lusting over my boyfriend's brother. But I'm not even sure what I want to eat these days.